Darwin Day is Demon Day!


Today we look with distress and sadness upon the heathen celebration of “Darwin Day”. Every year on February 12th, the atheists get together to worship Darwin, engage in sexually hedonistic actions, and commit hundreds of demonically-inspired shameless acts of depravity that would surprise even the Romans. “Darwin Day” is seen as a type of heathen Christmas, kind of like the “Newtonmas.” Let us combat the sins of Darwin Day, and look at some of the evil things which occur on this day.

First, atheist Darwinists get together to mock True Christian scientists such as Ken Ham and Kent Hovind. They also try to combat the fact that Christopher Hitchens converted on his deathbed, since this is clearly bad publicity for atheists. They also get heavily intoxicated on a regular basis.

Another common act on Darwin Day is the act of masturbation. Since many atheists are too busy sitting in front of computers mocking Christians to find other atheists to breed with (a thankful, glorious fact), they often masturbate. In fact, most atheists spend all day on Darwin Day inside, worshipping Darwin and looking at pornography. As Christian visionary Edward Current reminds us, masturbation is clearly a sinful act. Yes, the banana was designed by God to perfectly fit the human hand. But this does not mean that the penis was also designed thusly. One is for reproduction, one is for consumption. Silly atheists actually even put penises in their mouths in an act of sexual depravity so terrible that it will not be mentioned here.

Atheists also get together and listen to Rock and Roll music and worship Satan in basements on Darwin Day. True story: the #1 day for sales for the heathen texts “The Necronomicon” and “The Satanic Bible” is February 12th, every single year. Darwinists are atheists that mockingly worship the devil to piss off Christians!

Without the doctrine of evolution, there is no atheism. The Dawkins himself reminds us that it is the doctrine of evolution which makes it possible to become an intellectually fulfilled atheist. Without the doctrine of evolution, there is no Hitler, there is no Stalin, there is no Kony, there is no eugenics, there is no racial heirarchy, there is no racism. Without the doctrine of evolution, there are no abortions. The doctrine of evolution teaches us that life is worthless. The doctrine of Creation teaches us that all life has value.

This February 12th, join me in prayer as we combat the evils of Darwin Day. I will leave you with a look at some of the evil things that Darwinists do on Darwin Day. May God have mercy on their souls:

Reject these sinful things or burn in hell.

Yours in Christ,

Jim and Martin

4 thoughts on “Darwin Day is Demon Day!

  1. Nathan says:

    You didn’t mention to part where we smoke marijuana rolled in the pages of the bible and listen to Marilyn Manson.

    In all seriousness, though we’re celebrating the mind of a great man who has helped further our human knowledge. Yes, it pisses you off but you know what pisses me off? You trying to portray atheists as drunken, devil-worshipping sodomites. Honestly, if we don’t believe in God why in the hell do you think we’d believe in Satan? Perhaps you should work on cleaning up Christianity’s poor image instead of trying to make atheists look bad. We’re doing quite fine, thank you. And I don’t think Dawkins ever diddled a little boy.

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