It’s Jesus Time!

Dear fellow Christians,

We have seen recent disasters happening today in a world where the end of times is upon us. The atheistic mindset we hear asks the question of “Why would God allow bad things to happen if he is all loving?” Bibically speaking, what do these disasters really mean? Quite simply, the disasters we see are a warning that the rapture is coming as it was written in the Book of Revelations; and Occam’s Razor is the simplest explanation we have that allows us to prove these facts from the Bible! It also confirms that the Antichrist is among us! What are causing these disasters?

Many of the states in the Northeast coast, such as New York and Vermont, were responsible for electing Obama in office and also for allowing forced gay marriages in America. But these are not the heathen problems that have happened in the east coast! Remember the Dover Trial which ruled that it was alright to teach evolution in the classrooms instead of the Genesis account? Also don’t forget that atheist Jessica Alquist declared war against God by taking away prayer banners from the schools while tag-teaming with the ACLU (Anti-Christian Lawyers Union). The states are also blue, and we know that the blue states are dominated by supporters of the liberal-atheistic party. Since these states support heathenism, God had to punish these states with Hurricane Sandy. After all, scientists have failed to explain how the hurricane formed.


Look at the political map and you will see the blue states that were punished by God in the East Coast:


Russia was also punished for communism and for forcing atheism. Look at the picture and you will see a comet that is about to hit Russia.

APTOPIX Russia Meteorite

Let’s also not forget that Hurricane Katrina was caused because of Ellen DeGeneres’s lesbianism, and that God had to punish New Orleans for this sinful behavior. God’s presence was also there when he made the 2004 tsunami happen to the countries for supporting Islam and fighting Christianity, and he also punished Haiti and China with earthquakes for causing other sorts of heathenism. Someday God will pour his wraith on San Fransisco just like he did to Saddam and Gomorrah for homosexuality!

So, why do these sins happen?

Obviously it is the Anti-Christ that is behind this! The Anti-Christ is diverting people away from God, and he is making them commit sinful acts that are offensive to God. He is tempting people into doing sins just like Satan tried to tempt Jesus into sin. Such sinful acts we see being commited are pornography, teaching evolution in the classroom, looking up Miss Teen Delaware, the election of Obama for a second term, homosexuality, rock n’roll, rape, strippers, atheism, lap dances, playboy magazines, murders, bars, Maxim magazines, marijuana usage, taking Christ away from Christmas, and other various sins.

Look at these heathens that are headed to Hell if they keep this up:


R/Atheism, the Gateway to Hell






As we can see, the Anti-Christ is behind all these problems, and we must fight back or God will no longer bless America. Let’s take a stand for Jesus and cut down the tree of bad fruit that is making all these sins happen.

Martin Baker

join us in the war on Islam!

Greetings True Christians!
Today I’d like to talk to you about the evils of Islam. The Muslim faith is an evil, evil, evil faith responsible for such atrocities as the September 11th Terrorist attacks, Al Qaeda, fatwahs against Christian leaders, the stoning and be-heading of good Americans, blasphemy, heathenism, the collecting of many wives, and the Taliban. The Muslims brought us such great world figures as Osama Bin Laden, Saddam Hussein, and that idiot Ahmadenijad, and are currently fighting against Christian interests in Israel and the Middle East. We must wipe the false Islamic faith away from the face of the Earth. We must take back the planet for Christ.

Are all Muslims heathens? YES! The Islamic church teaches many false things. For example, Muslims believe that Christ was a “good man”, but not the Son of God. This is false blasphemy, and Muslims should be punished for spreading this lie. The Muslim heathens also call God by the wrong name, “Allah”. Muslims also treat their false “prophet” Mohammed as some kind of God, since they fight against the production of images of Mohammed. Here’s a picture of Mohammed, just to make them angry:

this is the face of a terrorist, not a prophet. Mohammed is one of the princes of hell!

What is the best way to deal with a Muslim? We must bring them to Christ. All Muslims are terrorists. Hasn’t anybody noticed how willing Muslims are to blow themselves up to kill innocent American soldiers and civilians? This is a dangerous, dangerous belief system, one which is fueled by hatred, lies, and Satan. We must either convince Muslims to accept Christ or we must destroy them. Much like a dog that bites all those people around it, the Muslim must either be rehabilitated or put down. We must expand this American “War on Terror” into what it has the potential to be, a “War on Islam”. No matter how many terrorists we kill, as long as there are still Muslims, the sand people will be training more terrorists. It’s as simple as that.

Be an American. Reject Islam. How can you help? I don’t believe that our readers should engage in acts of violence against Muslims. Christ would not want us to do that. However, we can send them Bibles and Christian literature. We can direct them to True Christian websites such as this one. We can shun them when they fail to accept Christ. We can bring them to the light of Christ. We can trust our American government to declare war on the Muslims as well, if enough of us write our congressmen and congresswomen. Join with me today. Ask your local congressional representative to support a declaration of war against the heathen Islamic nations of the world.

Why should we declare war on Islam? Because Christ can’t return until the Temple is rebuilt. What stands on the site of the Temple right now? The Islamic Dome of the Rock. The Dome must be destroyed before the Temple can be rebuilt. Once the Temple is rebuilt, Jesus will return. Therefore, it is essential that we get rid of the Dome of the Rock. How do we get rid of it? Through an act of war. Join with me, Christians of the world, and ask your government leaders to support the destruction of the Islamic faith. Jesus would be proud of all of you.

I’m Jim Solouki, and I’m a true Christian.

This Heathen is going straight to hell

Dear Christians and heathens,

That man from Crimes Against Divinity has decided to mock us and reject our call for prayer. He will be cast into the depths of hell along with Carl Sagan, Alice Cooper, Charles Darwin, David Bowie, Richard Dawkins, Pamela Anderson, Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, and all the heathens, and he will burn for all eternity for his sins. You can see his rejection post here. Satan is going to enjoy tormenting this one. I’ll respond to his post here. His words in italics, mine in normal text:

“I have a confession to make. A few nights ago was our monthly atheist bonfire and BBQ baby-eating competition that we hold down near the waterfront. Well, long story short, some of us ended up having a little too much to drink during the interminable hours of hedonistic debauchery and repeated drunk-dialing of Kirk Cameron and Ray Comfort from random pay phones (“Hey, I’ve got something that fits perfectly in your mouth!””

This is the type of drunken mischief that these heathens engage in! Now I do not believe that they ACTUALLY ate babies, but even to joke about such a matter is to condemn one’s self to hell. You’re headed for a far warmer bonfire and barbecue…where your pathetic excuse of a soul will be the main course! Satan will enjoy you. And why do you mock Ray Comfort and Kirk Cameron? Both men are very intelligent, strong, great Christian thinkers! Let me ask you something. What have YOU ever done with your life besides write your silly little blog? These men have touched the hearts of millions. Martin and I have done missionary work in many places across the globe, helping the world’s poor heathens to see the light of Christ. What have you ever done? Far less than us true Christians!

We had exhausted our supply of “Dawkins / Harris 2016″ fliers pretty quickly after tagging just about every telephone pole and church door within a three mile radius, and were running out of ideas.

Wow. This guy is dumber than I thought! Does he not know that Dawkins cannot be elected president because Dawkins is British? We’re dealing with an Atheist idiot here! The atheist community claims that true Christians such as Martin and myself are illiterate, bumbling idiots, yet we understand how the US Government works far better than these sinners. Next time an atheist tries to tell you that the United States is not a Christian nation, think back to this instance of atheist ignorance. Do not trust them, ever.

You know how some people have those lit-up animatronic Santa Clauses, reindeer, and snowmen on their lawns during Christmas time? Well, not too far from the main road we caught a glimpse of this house with what appeared to be the entire passion of the Christ laid out – animatronic-style – on the front lawn. The Trial. The Sentencing. The Nailing of Jesus (complete with red LEDs for blood spatter; very nice touch). And, finally, the Empty Tomb complete with angels. I couldn’t have imagined anything so elaborate, and would have simply dismissed it as some alcohol-induced hallucination if my friends hadn’t been with me to witness it.

Actually, it’s not the passion of the Christ. You exaggerate. It’s the left-over remains of my nativity scene that I reworked slightly to make it work for an Easter display. It’s not that special, the lights might be over the top, but thank you for noticing, friend. I spent hours and hours working on that display actually.

Knowing that the only thing more irritating than an atheist to a Christian of this level of exuberance would be a believer in the Flying Spaghetti Monster, we went right to work. We hit up the local 7-11, bought some markers, paper, another 12-pack of PBR, and a couple of loaves of Italian bread that looked like they were surplus from a local Olive Garden. Managing the best I could with barely enough hand-eye coordination to tie my shoes, my buddies and I whipped up a few posters, pasted one on their door, and mounted a few others on their lawn. Each one came with its own loaf of bread; I’m still not too sure why. It sounded like a good idea at the time. Then again, so did PBR.

Hmm. Atheism, Flying Spaghetti Monsterism, PBR (which I believe is one of those atheist drink cocktails…something like “Pastafarian baby rectum”. Now they don’t actually put the baby rectum in there, its just what they call it since its apparently nasty). And we have an admission of guilt. These heartless heathens are sinners, they admit it, and yet they refuse to turn to Christ. Hell will not be a good place for them, even though they’re headed there by their own choice.

“Yesterday I found out they’re issuing a public “call for the clasping of hands and muttering to one’s self” for me, in hopes that I’ll give up my heathen ways and turn to the path of the Lord. Not bloody likely. I do appreciate the concern, though … and the attention that comes with it, of course. Please keep me appraised on what God thinks of my work, since he never seemed to have the time to answer me when I was batting for his team.”

I prayed hard for you. The Spirit guided me to an answer. You can either repent or burn in hell. Do you know what hell is like? Let me describe it for you. It is a great, eternal pit of fire where your “body,” in whatever form it may be, is cast for all eternity. You will be tortured every second of every day for all eternity. There will be great wailing and gnashing of teeth. It will smell terrible, far worse than a trash dump. It will be dark, and the only form of illumination will be the flames constantly feeding on your soul (in whatever form God casts souls into hell. We do not specifically know). You will be tortured by demons who hate you because you were born as a creature of God. This is why they hate you so much. Not because you are a sinner, but because you were once from God, and they hate all that is from God, since God condemned them to this terrible eternal fate. I don’t want this fate for you, my dear friend. Please, please, please repent. Please open your heart and mind to Jesus. Wouldn’t it be better to spend your life devoted to Jesus and die and find out there is nothing after death than it would be to spend life as an atheist, die, and find yourself in this horrible place forever? Accept Christ. What do you have to lose?

Well, I hope you’re happy, and I hope you’ll be even happier when God casts your soul into the eternal pit of fire. Repent or burn in hell.

The Bible tells us that there is only ONE way to Heaven, and that way is through Christ. Accept him or be damned. Checkmate, atheist.

I’m Jim Solouki, and I’m a true Christian.

A call for prayer

Greetings Christian friends.

I have been praying to God about the atheist attack perpetuated by this Senator Jason on Martin and I, and the Holy Spirit has told me that Jason will be burning in Hell. This heathen has no love for God, and in fact has his own blog called “Crimes Against Divinity”. I’m not joking. You can find it here. If this man does not repent, God will cast him into the pit of fire where he will be burnt and tortured for all eternity. Let us pray for this Jason, that he may one day soon stop his “Crimes Against Divinity”. Let us pray that he will accept the Truth of Christ and change his heathen ways.

Yours in Christ,

Jim Solouki

30 questions NO atheist can answer

1)      If the Bible is false, then how come every Messianic prophecy in the Old Testament was fulfilled by Jesus Christ in the New Testament?

2)      If the Bible is false, then how come early Christians were willing to martyr themselves for Jesus? How come Christians still are?

3)      If the Bible is false, then how come almost every indigenous non-Biblical mythology has a flood story? This proves that Noah’s Flood was a real event.

4)      If the Bible is false, then how come all the real evidence shows us that the Earth is very young, and formed around the same time as the Ussher Chronology tells us the planet was Created?

5)      If the Bible is false, then how come it told us that the nation of Israel would be re-built? Guess what? Israel is a country again. The Bible is true.

6)      If the Bible is false, then how come atheists try so hard to disprove it, and always fail?

7)      If the Bible is false, then how come the archaeological record proves that the Biblical events happened? In fact, we even have the remains of Noah’s Ark, on Mount Ararat.

8)      If the Bible is false, then what happens when we die?

9)      If the Bible is false, then is the American nation false? After all, America was built on Biblical Christian ideals and standards.

10)   If the Bible is false, then how come no non-Christian nation has ever defeated a Christian nation in war?

11)   If the Bible is false, then how come Charlemagne won hundreds of battles thanks to Christian symbolism?

12)   If the Bible is false, then why did both Charles Darwin and Christopher Hitchens repent on their deathbeds when faced with the truth of their own impending mortality?

13)   If the Bible is false, then why are we here? Did we come from goo to zoo to you? Are we nothing more than animals? An animal could never build a computer. A human can. Clearly there’s a difference. The Bible tells us the Truth of that difference, and that Truth is the Truth of Christ and God’s divine creation of the human mind, body and soul.

14)   If the Bible is false, then how come politicians are still sworn in with it?

15)   If the Bible is false, then why are Christian servants like Pat Robertson blessed by God with wealth?

16)   If the Bible is false, then how come so many people have been visited by Jesus?

17)   If the Bible is false, then how come it is still the world’s best-selling book?

18)   If the Bible is false, then why are atheists trying SO hard to combat its presence in American society? They even created the ACLU (American Communist Lawyers Union) for this purpose!

19)   If the Bible is false, then why do contemporary accounts from the Holy Land tell us that Jesus did, in fact, exist?

20)   If the Bible is false, then why hasn’t it been changed in thousands of years? Translated? Yes. Changed? No.

21)   If the Bible is false, then what about the Shroud of Turin? Is that fake too?

22)   If the Bible is false, then how come the Egyptians freed the Hebrews?

23)    If the Bible is false, then what about all the accounts of near death experiences that seem to confirm the existence of a Heaven and Hell? Are all these people lying?

24)   If the Bible is false, then how come God is punishing the New York Jets for their treatment of Tim Tebow? Before trading for Tebow, the Jets were a playoff team. After trading for Tebow and keeping him on the bench, the Jets imploded.

25)   If the Bible is false, then how come the government is trying to suppress True Christian thinkers such as Kent Hovind? This is because the government now fears Christianity, since politicians are now trying to hide from the True Christian values underlying the Constitution and Bill of Rights.

26)   If the Bible is false, then where do souls come from?

27)   If the Bible is false, then where does morality come from?

28)   If the Bible is false, then how come the universe appears to be fine-tuned for life?

29)   If the Bible is false, then what about the Resurrection?

30)   If the Bible is false, then why are we here?

Brought to you by your friends at


Atheists Attack!

Greetings Christian friends and atheist heathens.

Martin and I are deeply concerned about recent events that occurred today. We both came home from work to find anti-Christian Flying Pasta Monster paraphernalia displayed on our lawn. Pictures included in this post. Obviously somebody is mocking us for the Christian message we are working so hard to spread on this blog. Which one of you atheist scum has put these poster boards up on our property? We will not contact the police, but we do expect an apology. Repent, or be cast into Hell. It’s your choice heathen(s) Here are the photographs of the work of this/these heathen/heathens:

Jesus was NOT touched by a "Spaghetti Monster"! This is pure blasphemy! This was pasted on  Jim's door by the heathen scum.

Jesus was NOT touched by a “Spaghetti Monster”! This is pure blasphemy! This was pasted on Jim’s door by the heathen scum.

Martin found this on his lawn. Shameful. Who the heck would admit to creating Rock Music...besides Satan?

Martin found this on his lawn. Shameful. Who the heck would admit to creating Rock Music…besides Satan?

Yes. I JESUS, not your satanic flying spaghetti monster.

Yes. I believe…in JESUS, not your satanic flying spaghetti monster.

joke's on you heathen. You'll burn for your sins. In Hell. for eternity. Hope you enjoy it.

joke’s on you heathen. You’ll burn for your sins. In Hell. for eternity. Hope you enjoy it.

We hope that the sinner(s) behind these sordid acts repent or enjoy(s) their time in Hell!

Jim and Martin.

On Star Wars and Satan

Greetings True Christians!

Today we will talk about the evils of Star Wars, the Satanic film series directed by George Lucas. We are not fans of Star Wars, and we have covered Star Wars before on this site. But with the new movies coming out, it’s time to talk about them again.

I’ll outline the Star Wars story here. A long time ago in the 1980s in a sinful place far, far away called California, the heathen Mormon George Lucas created Star Wars, and he saw that it was heathen in form. Throughout the Star Wars saga, Lucas carries out his own personal vendetta against traditional Christianity, and his films are meant to lead young minds away from Jesus. What’s wrong with Star Wars? EVERYTHING! It’s time to tell you all why.

Problem one. Homosexuality. The Star Wars universe is rife with homosexuality. During the original three films from the 1980s, in fact, the main protagonists of the film, RD-B2 and C3D0, “droids”, constitute a homosexual couple. The way they bicker and argue yet always stay together throughout the films shows us that there are homosexual tendencies between these robots. This is clearly sinful stuff. Lucas promotes homosexuality with these “droids,” yes. But even worse, these droids seem to have minds of their own! You cannot create a mind, no matter how good your programming skills. The only person that can create a mind is God, and we know that He is Good. Homosexuality in Star Wars is rampant, and even inspires homosexuality among fans of the series. Images below:

Problem two. Incest. Luke Skytalker and Leia Origami, the son and daughter of Anakin Skytalker and Queen Amigdala, are engaged in an incestuous relationship in the first Star Wars film. They even kiss each other on the mouth! Later in the series they find out that they are siblings, so they didn’t know they were siblings when they kissed, but still! This is sinful, sinful writing on the part of Lucas and the crew. In fact, there is apparently a nearly R-rated love scene between Luke and Leia on the unrated dvd version of A New Hope. I haven’t seen it, so I can’t confirm or deny its existence.

Problem three. Mormonism! The films are rife with Mormon ideology! The films show separate creations on separate planets. The Mormon Church preaches that when good Mormons die, they get to create their own planets, much like the planets in Star Wars. This is clearly a reference to Mormonism, and it is sinful.

Problem four. Buddhism and witch craft. Ever see The Empire Strikes Back? Ever see Yoda’s hut? Yoda’s hut is clearly a witch’s hut. It fits all the general characteristics, and it is clear that Yoda represents a glorification of witchcraft in this film. Know the best way to get rid of a witch? Burn it! They burned witches in the 1600s, and we don’t burn them anymore. Why? Because burning witches in the 1600s solved the problem! They’re all gone now. Well almost all gone. The ones that aren’t are hiding from the power of Christ.

As far as Buddhism, the Jedi way of life and the force are clearly Buddhist references. The Jedi worship a mystical power field called the force, that “runs through us all”. They espouse a set of beliefs very similar to Buddhism. There are good and evil followers of the force, much like Buddhism. Unlike Christianity, followers of the force see no problem embracing the Dark Side. The Jedi run around looking like Japanese samurai doing magic Asian Jackie Chan martial arts sequences and playing with light sabers. They dress in kimono-esque robes. Do you know what Buddhists are, boys and girls? Buddhists are heathens! And Lucas makes these heathens the heroes and villains the heroes of his films. This is sinful, and represents a glorification of the heathen way of life. Even worse, people are now putting “Jedi Knight” as their religious faith on censuses! Clearly Lucas is leading people away from God and working for Satan.

Speaking of religion, let us not forget Catholicism! Who is the Evil Empire in Star Wars? The Catholic Church. We told you about this in our previous post on Star Wars, but it bears repeating. First, the last pope of the Catholic Church looks EXACTLY like the Emperor in charge of the Empire. Second, the Empire’s royal guards are dressed almost like Catholic Cardinals. Third, both are deeply steeped in ceremony and dogma. Accidental? I think not. Is Lucas trying to use the imagery of the Catholic Church to imply that ALL Christians are evil? This is a definite possibility. Another key moment in the film dealing with Catholicism is when Dr. Scotty, also referenced in the Rocky Horror Satan Show, is beamed into the Death Star by Mr. Spock, ostensibly destroying the “Church”. The Empire survives, and in the third film, a new Death Star is built. This is apparently a reference to the Great Schism in Catholic history.

Here’s another key problem. Evolution! In “Episode One”, Lucas embraces a Richard Dawkins Selfish Gene Game Theory scenario when Wattle and Qui Gon Gin play dice to decide whether Qui Gon gets to own Anakin or his mother (I will refrain from discussing slavery in the film because the Bible actually seems to endorse slavery, thus, this is not wholly problematic). The video games spun off of Star Wars also use this evolutionist game theory. After all, they’re games. The films also show what appear to be separately “evolved” ecosystems throughout the galaxy. This is sinful. It embraces Darwinism. It rejects the Christian notion of One Creation. It rejects Biblical Truth. Shame on you, George Lucas! Shame on you!

much like George Lucas, this man wants your soul

Another problem? Skin, skin, skin. Episode two shows the nearly exposed buttocks of an alien woman. It also shows the exposed midrift of Natalie Portman, along with a shirt which barely covers her breasts. Things get even worse in the original series. Not only does Jabber the Hutt keep Princess Leia in chains in a metal slave bikini, but the other Twilek dancing slaves in the movie are nearly naked. This is very sinful. As Christians, we must ask ourselves how many innocent teenaged boys have been led into sinful masturbation as a result of these films, and even worse, into sinful masturbation over non-human alien creatures! And let us not forget the “Sarlac”, which is clearly a reference to the female vagina! Not only that, it has s tentacle coming out of it, which bears a striking resemblance, I am told, to Japanese “tentacle” pornography. This is horrible.

What happens to the people tied to these films? They’re most likely going straight to hell. William Shatner is headed straight to hell for trying to be in the new movies. That rocket man is headed straight into the sea of fire. If he thinks space is “cold as hell”, he’ll soon find out what hell really feels like, about 1 second after his death. Samuel L. Jackson? Going to hell. Not only for Star Wars, but all the other movies he’s made too. Sir Alec Guiness? Hell. Harrison Ford, headed straight for the center of hell with his kinky Indiana Jones whip and his Hand Solo space rifle. Hope they’re all ready for a one way ticket straight into Satan’s barbecue!

Do you want to ride on the highway to hell with Lucas and his heathen spawn, or do you want to climb the stairway to heaven? Well if you want a one way ticket to Paradise, you must reject the heathen notions expressed in these films. Lucas is working for the devil, and is trying to lead YOU away from Christ. How do we get to heaven? We must be Born Again. We must accept Biblical Truth. Star Wars rejects Biblical Truth, and as True Christians, we must reject Star Wars. Let us take a stand against Star Wars. Let us protest outside every theater that shows the new films. Two thousand years ago, somebody died on a Cross for you and I. Don’t you think it’s time someone took a stand for Him? Join us in the fight against Star Wars. Join us, Christian soldiers, in the war on Star Wars. Let us take a stand against Lucas. Let us take back our theaters for Christ.

From your friends,

Jim Solouki and Martin Baker

P.S. Let us pray for our men and women in uniform in the Middle East fighting the sand people and camel jockeys who reject Jesus and embrace Islam. There is ONE great scene in the Star Wars saga, and that is the scene where Anakin kills all the sand people. We must do the same thing, and wipe out the Islamic scourge on this planet. After all, they brought down the World Trade Center, and we must now destroy all of them. ~Jim

real life terrorists, or star wars costumes? Either way, they must die.