4/20, Hitler’s high holiday!

Greetings True Christians!

Did you know that every year, drug addicts, Darwinists, and neo-nazis around the world celebrate the birthday of Hell’s doormat, Adolf Hitler? That’s right, boys and girls, the “holiday” of 4/20 is nothing more than a veiled attempt by Darwinists and atheistic misanthropes to infiltrate the minds of our children and turn them away from Christ. The real founder of 4/20 day is Satan himself working through Charles Darwin. The truth is clear, and I will prove it to you

Now you see, boys and girls, when God cursed Satan in the Garden of Eden, Satan swore to get his revenge.  First, Satan turned the world evil. God punished the world with the Flood. Then Satan had Jesus crucified. Jesus responded with the Resurrection, saving all True Christians (but no heathens).  After Jesus, the world was doing pretty well, with science based on the Bible. Then Satan began to enter into scientists to turn them against God. One of Satan’s favorite scientists was Charles Darwin.

Darwin created a fake, ungodly, goo-to-zoo-to-you monkeys-to-man mythology that removed God from the Creation narrative. This was Satan’s plan all along. Satan used Darwin to undermine God’s authority across the world. Darwin created racism amongst the Europeans against the Jews and other peoples.  And this racism created Hitler.

Adolf Hitler and the Darwinist paradigm is responsible for the murders of more than six million people. But Darwin didn’t stop with Hitler! Darwin inspired Stalin too, who was another mass murderer. More deaths  can be attributed to Darwinist ideas and the atheist beliefs that come from them than to any other set of false beliefs. After Hitler’s death and the end of the second World War, it became unsavory to celebrate Darwinist ideals openly. For example, before WWII, the Darwinists  openly espoused Eugenics. After WWII, they were forced to take their eugenical views into hiding, and for good reason. Eugenics looked an awful lot like Naziism!

So what do the Darwinists do instead of openly celebrating the atheistic dogma of eugenics and extermination? They instead celebrate the birthdays of its founders. In America, it isn’t political suicide to embrace Charles Darwin’s birthday. “We are doing it in the name of science,” the atheists can lie, when in  reality they are doing it in the name of Satan. However, anyone who embraces Adolf Hitler’s birthday immediately attracts hatred from Americans in every corner. By embracing Hitler, the atheists show their true colors. And that’s why they created 4/20 Day!

Instead of openly celebrating Hitler’s birthday on April 20th, the atheist scum of America instead celebrate  marijuana and other heathen drugs bastardized by Satan. You see, God gave us the marijuana plant for hemp, which is a product used to make rope. In fact, the hemp from the cannabis plant may have been used to make ropes on Noah’s Ark that helped to save humanity from the Flood. Satan took the plant, warped it, and led mankind to use it to get stoned. Once “stoned,” it is easier for Satan to enter into a man’s heart.

Drug and alcohol use amongst atheists didn’t begin after Hitler though.  Charles Darwin’s grandfather was a known alcoholic, and probably used opium as well.  Alfred Russell Wallace came up with his evolutionary ideals after a bad reaction to opium in Indonesia, even though he tried to pass it off as  malaria. And who knows what kinds of drugs Charles Darwin used in South America?! He must have been on some strong stuff to believe that man came from goo!

the columbine killers

the evil ungodly Columbine shooters

Want further proof that 4/20 Day is ungodly? The Columbine Massacre took place that day.  On that day, two students inspired by Darwin and deluded by the Devil entered Columbine High School and gunned down many innocent people. This shooting was caused by Darwinism and by the teaching of Darwin in schools. This day was a celebration of Hitler, atheism, Darwin, and the weed subculture, and is a prime reason why 4/20 must not be allowed to be celebrated as a holiday.

My fellow Christians, it is time to do away with the heathen celebration of 4/20 and replace it with a True Christian holiday. I challenge all of you to worship God this 4/20 and to join the war on drugs and on Darwin! It is time to take back the world for Jesus! It is time to take back our calendars for Christ.

I’m Jim Solouki, and I’m a True Christian!

Rick Santorum doesn’t support 4/20 Day! Vote for Rick Santorum in 2016!

52 thoughts on “4/20, Hitler’s high holiday!

  1. My aunt’s a drug addict and she has been a part of AA for quite a while now. She is no neo-Nazi nor will she celebrate Hitler day. Sorry to burst your bubble but you really need a reality check.

  2. I’m Jim Solouki, and I’m a Satanic Cultist Masturbator!

  3. Cassandra von d’Nacht says:

  4. Contest time! Who can post the most/best examples (links to posts) where Jimandmartin acted like Nazis? I’ll judge! Start submitting in this thread!

  5. You are aware what 420 means right. Also. It’s not a holiday. National or otherwise. Neither is Christmas, Easter etc. They’re religious holidays. Not national. This is due to the Constitution and its amendments separating Church and State

  6. How To Summon the Dark Priest Cthulhu

    Ten Easy Steps to Awaken Your Very Own Eldritch Horror

    Have you ever looked up at the stars and wondered what strange, unearthly phantoms seeped down from them in aeons past? Ever wanted to prove your worth to the entire world and simultaneously erase the stain of humanity from its surface? Ever had an overwhelming urge to seek out the forbidden knowledge posessed by those who cannot be named? Well, now you can do all these things, and many more! Great Cthulhu, the High Priest of the horrific Elder Gods, lies dreaming in the sunken city at the bottom of the primal ocean, and now the power to raise him from his ancient slumber is in your hands! Just follow these easy instructions to the letter, and you’ll be singlehandedly responsible for the demolition of everything pure in the universe in no time!

    1. Find ye the Necronomicon.

    This step is often difficult, as the Necronomicon, written by the mad Arab Abdul Alhazred, is rather a pain to try and locate. According to H P Lovecraft, there are only a few copies in existence, most of which are kept under lock and key by those who would try to stop you from unleashing unwholesome blasphemies on the world (heaven knows why). A good place to look is in New England’s Miskatonic University, although exact directions to the university are sadly not forthcoming.

    2. Study ye the Necronomicon.

    One of the simpler steps. This should present little trouble once you have acquired a copy, although rumours abound that it is often written in odd dialects, and may require some studying of various other occult books as well. A very thorough understanding of the mysteries locked within the eldritch book is absolutely essential for the success of your summoning, but mind that its mind-shattering contents don’t drive you utterly mad – at least, not too mad to perform the rest of the ritual.

    3. Find ye the Cthulhu Cult.

    According to legend, a secret cult exists, spanning the entire globe, whose initiates perform hideous rituals and sacrifices to appease the Elder Gods, who hold the great Cthulhu as their high priest. It is unclear how to gain entrance to this cult should one succeed in discovering it, but most sources agree it is probably very painful.

    4. Worship ye the High Priest Cthulhu.

    Dead Cthulhu lies sleeping in the submerged city of R’lyeh, but before you can attempt to awaken him, it’s best if you first prove your intentions to his vast dreamlike consciousness. Cthulhu will be much more likely to spare your pathetic soul if you bow down and perform obeisance to a carven image of him for several years before initiating the necessary rituals. As you will see, several years are most likely required to obtain the proper conditions for such a summoning anyway, so you might as well do something worthwhile with your time.

    5. Remain ye alive for the duration of the Worship.

    A key step. Many people have failed at this step by simply forgetting the cardinal rule of the occult: let other people do your dirty work for you. You’ll hardly be in a good position to summon any High Priests if your spleen has been carried into the netherworld by the infamous Yog-Sothoth as retribution for the time you bungled the ritual of awakening the dead from dust. It’s always good to initiate several complete idiots to perform most of your rituals for you. Countless dark wizards and demonologists have forgotten to take this into account, and have paid dearly.

    6. Keep ye the Worship a Secret.

    This is another very important step, and again, many people have failed here by exciting too much attention from the authorities. It’s best not to keep your laboratory in the house where you live (especially if you still live with your parents) because the strange odours and evil noises that are sure to emanate from it at all hours are a little suspicious in the eyes of the general populace. Don’t forget as well that not all your potential enemies are of this world. Remember, the Old Ones who created life on this planet waged a vicious war against the Spawn of Great Cthulhu in the terrible ages before mankind existed. It’s entirely possible that they will try and intervene unless the rituals are attempted covertly and discreetly.

    7. Wait ye for the Stars to be Aligned.

    Not a hard step, but a time-consuming one. There isn’t much one can do at this step but wait around until the stars form the eldritch, disturbing patterns described in your Necronomicon. You’ll know when the stars are right by the disturbing nightmares that you, your peers, and most likely every mildly insane person on the planet will suddenly complain about. With any luck, this step will occur in your lifetime – although if it doesn’t you can always take the necessary steps to ensure that one of your descendants discovers your ancient notes and foolishly revives you from the ashes of your portrait.

    8. Find ye the Sunken City of R’lyeh.

    This shouldn’t be too difficult as long as you’ve got the alignment of the stars right. According to legend, Dark Priest Cthulhu sleeps in the chambers of an enormous sunken city, built aeons before man crawled from the trees, and this city is due to return to the surface of our world when the stars are aligned. Unfortunately, you won’t have very long to find R’lyeh, because it sinks again once the stars restore their natural patterns. Acquiring a boat before this step is attempted is a very good idea. Look in the Pacific Ocean mainly. You’ll know when you’ve found it, trust me.

    9. Perform ye the Rituals and Awaken ye the Dark One.

    The climax of any dark summoning is, of course, the ritual, painstakingly chanted from your Necronomicon in the midst of unholy circles and sputtering black candles. Observe great care in getting the whole thing right, however – we all know the terrible consequences of having a sore throat or the hiccups whilst attempting bizarre, blasphemous chants. The ritual will probably drain your strength and leave you vulnerable for complete and utter loss of sanity, but don’t worry. In a little while, everyone else will be insane too.

    10. Watch in manic terror as the spawn ye hath unleashed proceeds to strip the earth of all that is good and wholesome, and turns it into an insane breeding ground for gibbering horrors from the nether regions of frozen space.

    This is the easiest step. Watch and enjoy! The only difficulty lies both in persuading the Dark Priest you have summoned to spare your pitiful flesh from the harvest, and keeping yourself sane as everything around you is crushed in the wake of a tide of overwhelming horror. Of course, you could always just go with the flow and run around screaming in your underpants until your soul is devoured.

    That’s it! That’s all you need to accomplish before the entire world can be devoured and held under the sway of amorphous monstrocities from nether regions of chaos! As always in meddling with the occult, however, be sure to always keep in mind that whatever you do and whoever you unleash, you will always end up paying for it with your tasty sweet soul.

    Good luck, and don’t forget:

    “Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn!”

  7. National Geographic is bestial because all the animals are naked.

  8. The Illogical Reaper here, and today I am going to show you that Jim and Martian are satanic and apart of the Illuminati.

    • Martin Baker says:

      You are a part of the cult of atheists that works for Obama and wants to make Christianity illegal in America. Repent, sinner.

  9. I watched Let’s Kill Hitler last Saturday. Shame it was late for 4/20.

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