Let’s take back our toys for Christ, not Satan.
Dear Christians,
Our children today have been targeted by the toy industry. We see how there are hundreds of toy ads everyday on TV that have targeted innocent kids and have seduced them from Jesus. The children are constantly being brainwashed by the commercials and the toys they receive as gifts, and they worship the toys as if they are their own gods. This offends God and violates one of the Ten Commandments that tells us that “There shall be no other gods before me.” The kids also think less about the wonders Jesus has done for us because the toys have corrupted their minds. I am here to tell you that Satan has not only been looking over American politics and the secular media, but he has been looking over the toy industry, and he is the reason why our children have less interest in God. Although you may think this is…
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creationsciencestudy 
I had lots of toys as a child. Super hero toys, Star Wars toys, and dinosaur toys. I turned out okay. I’m an High Anglican Christian now who believes in evolution.
SHHH! He won’t believe you’re a good Christian now that you said the E-word! (I believe in it too. It does NOT conflict with the Bible, except the theory about Lucy.) Also, he hates Star Wars.
Oh. Good point.
I, personally, could not care less. If you don’t like these children’s toys, don’t buy them, don’t look at them and, most importantly, don’t WRITE about them! PROBLEM SOLVED!! And we all should be spared reading poorly-written articles with absolutely no solid arguments. Jesus would face-palm seeing this. Please, at least spare HIM the agony.
Good day.
But then we won’t be able to see Jesus doing this:
Please stop posting that disrespectful .gif.
It’s terrible, I know.
You are right. My personal favourite portrayal of Jesus Christus! I think he looks absolutely spiffy! 🐻
SF PaperDragon, here’s a picture you may find less disturbing:
Thank you.
I agree some toys are sinful and so are the commercials. But again with the Star Wars. Are you kidding me? This is how violent A New Hope was:
in order for it to get a PG rating, they had to ADD a scene with red blood in it. It’s not that violent. Empire Strikes Back is darker, but not much more violent. Return of the Jedi… after the Gammorean Guard gets crunched, and there is no blood by the way, has minimal, cutesy Ewok violence. The prequels… they’re a bit more violent. But don’t bash Star Wars if you’re concerned about violence because there are worse movies out there.
Not to mention, Pope Benedict XVI is presented as the main villain in Star Wars. You’d think that’d have them buzzing!
It does have them buzzing. Actually, Pope Benedict was pope TWENTY FIVE YEARS AFTER ROTJ and they still refuse to think otherwise!
Hey, Jim/Martin, you bash Star Wars, but have you seen Fifty Shades of Grey? That stuff is a thousand times more sinful, but I don’t see a post on it.
I’m still looking for their post on The Evil Dead.
2 Tim. 3:16
I don’t see you refuting my teachings. I got one pitiful mention. Write your own counter article if I haven’t refuted anything. And come up with a cleverer punishment like Reaper’s for me. Whether I deserve becoming Satan’s next male virgin or not, it makes absolutely no sense as far as humor or irony are concerned. Oh, wait, since when do you have a good sense of those?
Poe!
Hey Reaper, you should install audacity and read one of M/J’s posts in a Dalek voice. I’d listen to that! Genius troll move.
Parody of Evangelical
I’m sorry. This is not a blog about Edgar Allen Poe. It is a blog about a cosmic Jewish zombie who loves you but wants to send you to Hell any way.
XD
:duck:
When are Jim and Martin going to reply to our comments?
Never …
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👿 🙂 👿 🙂 👿
👿 🙂 👿 🙂 👿
🐻
😳 😳
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¡ǝod ɐ ʇou ɹnoʎ ǝʌoɹd
You’re
Check out the two latest comments I posted beneath.
Heathen! They’ll criticize you for bad spelling! And then God will send you to Hell! He loves you!
Clearly, Jim and Martin’s “God” do not love people. THIS IS WHY MORMONISM MAKES SENSE, PEOPLE.
Jim Solouki is dead! YAY!
How have you acquired that knowledge?
They haven’t been responding, have they? So both Jim and Martin have died. YAY!
I made a video about your bullshit website!
Thank you reaper for the video!
I’m still waiting for a response to the video. Jim, I’m hurt. Don’t you love me?
Heathen! Repent or be BBQ’d in Hell!
I might do it when you prove he’s real.
Reaper, we will deal with you in an upcoming post you heathen whore of babylon.
We will be praying for you.