Greetings True Christians!
Did you know that the Olive Garden in Times Square in that modern day Babylon New York City will be charging $400 per person per meal on New Years Eve this year? That’s right, boys and girls, for what it costs to feed 109 starving children for an entire month, you can eat one meal at the Olive Garden on New Year’s Eve. Sadly, many people will pay this for a meal at what amounts to the McDonald’s of Italian food. When you go to Olive Garden, you are paying for reheated frozen food that is even microwaved at times. None of the “chefs” that prepare your food are professional, regardless of the hype the Olive Garden gives to their cooking school. In fact, many times, the breadsticks or salad you receive with your meal at the Olive Garden is transferred from another table, where diners failed to finish it. Do you want to spend $400 on one meal here, or do you want to feed 109 starving children? What would Jesus do? That’s right, Jesus would feed the children.
This move by the Olive Garden is an abomination, and both the management responsible for the move and all diners who eat there instead of feeding the hungry will burn in Hell. The Lord admonishes us to feed the hungry, clothe the naked, and visit the imprisoned. Instead of doing the Lord’s work, many people will pay $400 for a dinner at the Olive Garden and stuff their faces like gluttons preparing for slaughter. These sinners will all go straight to Hell unless they change their ways.
If you are thinking about going to the Olive Garden on New Years Eve, I challenge you to go to a smaller, family owned business who will charge you far less, and probably give you a much better meal. Take the money you save, and use it to better the lives of the poor; feed some starving children, buy a coat for a homeless person in Central Park (I can assure you, having visited there to preach, that there are many), or find some other Christian use of your money. You don’t need a $400 dinner. One $400 meal will not change your life. The money saved from skipping that meal may, however, change someone else’s.
My brothers and sisters in Christ, how can we allow the Olive Garden to commit such a horrible act while people in that very city are starving and living on the streets? Clearly, the Olive Garden is of Satan and must be avoided by True Christians. We must lead a boycot of the Olive Garden! In fact, we can protest too, not only to raise awareness of the inherent ungodliness of the prices that they are charging for a meal, but also to raise awareness of the homeless in the city. God hates the Olive Garden. God hates the Olive Garden’s supporters. And if you eat at the Olive Garden on New Years Eve, then God hates YOU.
Let us avoid the Olive Garden and all overpriced restaurants and give to the poor instead. It is time to take back our economy for Jesus! It is time to give back our wallets to Christ!
From your True Christian friends,
Jim Solouki and Martin Baker