Did you know that God is punishing Subway star Jared Fogle for committing ungodly acts of adultery and fornication with children? That’s right, God has locked up the sexual pervert in prison. Just like Bill Cosby, Ted Haggard, and Michael Jackson, Jared Fogle is another sexually immoral pervert who got away with committing sexual favors with children. But that’s not all! He also destroyed his wife’s purity by divorcing her, which is also forbidden in the bible. We Christians know for a fact that God hates divorces. Because of these actions Jared has caused, God has made it clear that Christians are no longer allowed to eat at the food chain known as Subway. Subway is now officially Satan’s restaurant because of Jared Fogle’s dirty actions and since it serves pork and shellfish that God commands us not to eat. Right now, Jared has the option of repenting while in prison, or he will be in Hell with people like Nelson Mandela, Richard Nixon, and Joan Rivers.