Slavery is not against God!

Greetings True Christians!

Did you know that slavery is of the Lord? That’s right, boys and girls, the Bible, and also our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ condone the idea of slavery. While American-style slavery, with its tortures and abuses and cruelties, was clearly an ungodly, abominable practice, there is a Biblical foundation for some sort of slavery.  In modern terms, one might consider this a form of “debt slavery” or “indentured servitude,” but the Bible clearly stipulates a set of rules by which slavery is, in fact, ok.

First, for male slaves. Take a look at Exodus 21:2-6. This passage tells us that if one is to buy a Hebrew slave, that slave becomes yours for a period of six years.  In the seventh year, the slave must be freed, unless he CHOOSES to remain a slave. Of course, being the Godly people the Israelites were, they would never compel a man to stay enslaved against his will since that would be against God.  However, the man’s offspring and “wife” would stay with the owner indefinitely, since the Bible has separate rules for female slaves. The man had the option to stay on as a slave and stay with his family, or go to freedom in the seventh year. The man was purchased, often as the result of debt. Also in the Bible, thieves were to be sold into slavery if they could not pay back the price of what they stole. That’s a GOOD IDEA! We should bring it back!

The Bible has slightly different things to say about female slaves. Let us go to Exodus 21 7-11:

And if a man sell his daughter to be a maidservant, she shall not go out as the menservants do.

If she please not her master, who hath betrothed her to himself, then shall he let her be redeemed: to sell her unto a strange nation he shall have no power, seeing he hath dealt deceitfully with her.

And if he have betrothed her unto his son, he shall deal with her after the manner of daughters.

10 If he take him another wife; her food, her raiment, and her duty of marriage, shall he not diminish.

11 And if he do not these three unto her, then shall she go out free without money.

Why the difference in treatment? Women were “purchased” from their family for the purpose of marriage. A woman who had been dealt to a male and rejected would have faced ostracism from her neighbors and community, so this law was clearly meant to honor the rights of the woman and the man involved. This is a good idea. It allows poor parents of women to gain access to wealth by marrying their daughters off to wealthy men.  As long as the marriage stays within Biblical terms, I see nothing wrong with it. This is of God and should be allowed in modern society.

Jesus and His followers did not reject slavery either, and neither should we. Consider 1 Timothy 6: 1-2:

Slaves, obey your earthly masters with respect and fear, and with sincerity of heart, just as you would obey Christ. of slavery should consider their masters worthy of full respect, so that God’s name and our teaching may not be slandered.Those who have believing masters should not show them disrespect just because they are fellow believers. Instead, they should serve them even better because their masters are dear to them as fellow believers and are devoted to the welfare of their slaves.

So slaves should care for their masters, and masters should care for their slaves! This is simple stuff, and clearly not what American slavery (which was an ungodly abomination from Satan) was like! This is Judeo-Christian slavery, a milder form of “debt slavery” or short-term servitude that was often good for both parties involved. For the slave, obedience was imperative and expected. Consider Ephesians 6:5:

Slaves, obey your earthly masters with respect and fear, and with sincerity of heart, just as you would obey Christ.

Clearly, rebellion was unbiblical and ungodly. So was disobedience. Clearly, the Bible suggests that slavery is ok. And clearly, the Bible is of God. So some form of slavery must, then, be ok. But how would that form of slavery look?

The answer is simple. We are looking at a system in which a person is paid to serve for a period of years to make up either for a crime or a debt. The person is freed at the end of the sentence. The person works for that period, and is then freed. However, the person must obey their master completely for that period. That really isn’t much different than how the modern work world works. You are paid to work, and you obey your boss while at work.  It really shouldn’t be too difficult to revive Biblical slavery, and I feel that it would do great wonders for the American economy.

Slavery for women is slightly different. Since a woman’s place is in the home as an obedient servant to her husband, all women are, in a sense, meant to obey anyway.  I believe that an impoverished family should be allowed to receive money from a wealthy family in return for their daughter’s hand in marriage if all parties agree. Upon marriage, it is the woman’s duty to obey her husband, and that duty must be fulfilled.

I would like to challenge the world to bring back a Biblical form of slavery. Instead of throwing thieves in prison, allow them to be sold for the period of their jail sentence so that their labor can benefit society. Instead of forcing people into homelessness due to debt, allow them to be sold to pay off that debt, and then freed upon the finish of their sentence. This is a True Christian idea that is far better than how capitalism approaches debt, and should be considered.

My brothers and sisters in Christ, it is time to bring slavery back to America! Not in the bastardized American form of our past, but in a True Christian Biblical form! Biblical slavery is a truly good thing that can bear many wonderful fruits. We must take back America for Jesus, and we can accomplish this at least partly on the backs of slaves, who can be brought to Christ if they are unsaved.  It’s time to save this country for Christ! Write your local representatives and ask them to consider backing a Biblical based form of slavery. It just might save America’s devastated economy!

I’m Jim Solouki, and I’m a True Christian!

15 thoughts on “Slavery is not against God!

  1. Back on track with your humour! Good job! I’m putting this in my joke book. Let’s get a move on!

  2. Bring on the Mariachi Band!

  3. Cassandra von d’Nacht says:

    You claim to be better than Muslims, but you are exactly the same! Your ‘Biblical Law’ is just a Christian version of Sharia Law and not a bit better. Go ahead, replace the American Constitution with the ‘True Christian’ Bible and let me know who long did it take for you to become victims of your own design.
    Jim and Martin, the only way you can change your America is to candidate for the president. Even your ‘godly’ Rick Santorum (whose surname reminds me of Satan too much) would turn his back on you, should he ever win the elections, of course.

    One of my absolute favourite buildings I saw whilst I was in Vienna yesterday. Behold! The Secession building:

  4. He’s not wrong, but that DOESN’T make him look better.

    • He’s still wrong, he’s just not wrong about God being OK with slavery during biblical times. Got news for you, Jimartin. At one time the Lord saith, Thou shalt not kill, and another time he saith, Thou shalt utterly destroy. God would not want to bring back slavery. That’s dumber than saying women don’t have souls. TOTAL SATIRISTS YOU ARE.

      • Cassandra von d’Nacht says:

        Call the exorcist now: 0039.02.855.6457!!! Only they can vanquish the dæmons that possessed Jim and Martin and forced them to go this unholy way. They must be saved from the claws of the Devil; exorcism is their only solution to ever see Heaven, they so much adore.

      • It’s always fun when Christians point out contradictions.

      • Did you know evil actually proves God is real and not the other way around?
        Evil is not a thing. God created all things but evil is not a thing. Think. If you have rust on a car and you take the rust off the car, you have a good car. But if you take the car out of the rust, what do you have? Evil only makes sense against the backdrop of good. So either evil doesn’t exist or God does. And if evil doesn’t exist, religion isn’t responsible for the evil in the world.

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