Black Friday and the Atheist War on Christmas

We’re keeping Christ in Christmas. Are you?

Greetings True Christians!

Did you know that Black Friday is one of the atheist’s favorite weapons in the global war on Christmas? For those of you who don’t know what Christmas is (and who, therefore, are likely damned to Hell), Christmas is the day, December 25th, where all the world’s Christians celebrate the fact that our Lord and Savior Jesus the Christ was born in a stable and laid in a manger in Bethlehem. This is a holiday of giving, but the heathens and atheists, especially in America, have turned it into a holiday twisted by greed.

Bill O’Reilley knows all about the War on Christmas

The American tradition of Christmas begins on Thanksgiving, a Thursday about a month before Christmas. Thanksgiving is dedicated to the celebration of the fact that the heathen Indians in Massachusetts had their hearts opened by the Holy Spirit, embraced Jesus, and brought food to the starving Christian Pilgrims so that they would be healthy and strong in time to celebrate Christmas. Many Christians begin putting up Nativity scenes around this time.

However, the ungodly atheists and Darwinists, blinded by the possibility of easy money, have launched an economically fueled war on Christmas. This war’s first major salvo is on the day called Black Friday. I don’t know why they call it Black Friday, but it’s probably because the Darwinist Atheists choose to celebrate the fact that African children are starving while they storm stores and spend millions of dollars on stuff while they forget about Jesus. Do you know why there is a hunger crisis in Africa? Because the atheists and Darwinists in America are using Black Friday as an excuse to funnel aid money away from African children and into the pockets of American corporations. Of course, God allows this because these Africans are heathens (like Nelson Mandela), unsaved by Christ and likely condemned to an eternity in Hell anyway, but I digress. Let’s take a look at Black Friday!

This African American man is being hounded by atheists who want his last bit of food before their next stop at the mall!

Meanwhile, the African-American man’s son, above, is at his doctor’s appointment.

Think of all the money spent on Black Friday that could instead be spent on African children that need food? This crisis is predicted in the Book of Revelation. Revelation tells us that nobody will be able to purchase goods in the time of the Antichrist without the number of the beast. Did you know that that is happening today with credit cards? Did you know that when a Russian scientist drilled a hole to the center of the Earth and recorded the sounds of Hell that they sounded exactly like shoppers on Black Friday? Coincidence? I think not! The Antichrist is at work today. Here’s a video of shoppers on Black Friday:

And here’s a video with the sounds of Hell:

In fact, God is beginning to send the horsemen upon Africa and the world as we speak. The horseman of famine is already striking Africa. Americans have allowed this to happen, and have even sped it up. The apocalypse is coming, and the Atheists and Darwinists are the reason why! They are systematically allowing Africans to starve because they are  “inferior” to the whites, according to Darwin! Here’s a photo of the horseman of famine on the loose in Africa. This child is starving while greedy Americans are fighting over new TVs.

the horseman of famine is upon us.

Why do Darwinists view Africans as inferior? Because they were deluded by the Devil just like Hitler, and in fact were inspired by Satan to do Hitler’s work by creating a fairy tale of evolution that Hitler could use to kill the Blacks, the Jews, the Gypsies, and the Christians. Here’s good old fashioned Darwinist racism at work. David Wilmot is a known Darwinist deceiver and is burning in Hell as we speak with Feynman, Sagan, Robin Williams, Nelson Mandela, and Pope John Paul II, but that didn’t stop him from being racist:

Charles Darwin himself supported the cleansing of the human race:

The atheists are clearly tied up in a Darwinist conspiracy to destroy Blacks, and Black Friday is both a part of the Atheists’ war on Christmas and also on their war on people they have deemed inferior. In fact, they even brought Ebola to America to help kill more Africans! Thanks to the evils of Black Friday, we see images like these:

The atheists are trying to replace True Christian virtues with Darwinian survival-of-the-fittest dogma. They must be stopped. We must meet them on the battlefield. We must combat the war on Christmas with a War on atheism. Christians of the internet and of the world, join together with Martin and I and shout “checkmate, atheists!”  Let us fight for the Truth of Christ so dear to us and against the powers of evil so dear to the atheists.

Let us join together and destroy the atheist scum. Did you know that they mock us with their ungodly show South Park? They have songs called “Merry ****ing Christmas” and “Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo” that are clearly atheist heathen affronts to Christ. They must be destroyed along with the black Friday shoppers that are doing the work of Satan! In fact, they glorify the ungodly art of Black Friday in their show! They are part of the atheist Black Friday conspiracy!

How does the conspiracy work? The atheist illuminati who are trying to kill the starving Africans come up with big “Black Friday” deals every year, and publicize them in the press, which they control. The ungodly sheeple absorb every word of atheist propaganda and buy up Christmas presents instead of giving their money to the poor. This is very pleasing to the people who control the press, because it means their plans to starve the Africans in Africa to better the human race are working. Reject genocide, reject Black Friday. It’s what Jesus would do.

atheism at work

So this year, on Black Friday, don’t go shopping. Instead, stay home and pray to our Lord and Savior Jesus the Christ. Here is a True Christian prayer that you can use: Lord, I know that Black Friday is an affront to Your glory. I know that the atheists are trying to destroy real people with this day. As your servant, I want to stop them. Teach me how to stop the atheist hordes Lord Jesus. Teach me how to enlighten them in the ways of our Father, who art in heaven. Teach me how to destroy atheism and stop the antichrist’s spread. I ask this in Your name Lord Jesus, Amen.”

It’s time to take back Thankgiving for Jesus! It’s time to take back Christmas for Christ! The war is on atheists, and we are here to fight. Checkmate, atheists.

From your True Christian friends,

Jim Solouki and Martin Baker.

11 thoughts on “Black Friday and the Atheist War on Christmas

  1. Martin Baker says:

    We need to continue with the war on atheism and stop the war on christmas!

  2. 10bacon says:

    Black Friday originated in Philadelphia due to the disruptive abundance of pedestrian and vehicular traffic on the day after Thanksgiving. I googled that. I initially thought it was due to the stores being in the black after that day. Oh well.

    Question: Why did God make the Africans just to send them to Hell?

  3. The Illogical Reaper says:

    Stop posting. You don’t understand what Black Friday is. You don’t understand what Thanksgiving is. You don’t understand where Christmas came from. You don’t understand what Evolution, Science, or Atheism is. You haven’t proven that god is real, and yet expect me to buy into this bullshit. Your little story about how you survived a car crash proves nothing. You had a blood-loss delusion, and automatically though it was god. Do the world a favor and shut up. Besides, Jesus don’t like it when you shove him down everyone’s throat.

  4. Alienfan says:

    I found some errors with this text:
    1. Not only christians celebrate christmas
    2. Sweden actually celebrates christmas on 24th december
    3. South park is a comedy and it was not made by atheists, but they make fun of every religion even christianity
    There is probably more errors in this text, but I did not read it all.

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