Greetings True Christians!!
Today I would to talk to you about the evil and ungodly National Football League. This ungodly abomination supports homosexuality, promotes violence, de-sanctifies the Sabbath, destroys the sanctity of marriage, promotes alcohol consumption, promotes gambling, promotes lustful behavior, and leads our children to idolize professional athletes instead of Jesus! I have put much research into this post, and will share it all with you here. The NFL is Satan’s sport, and it must be destroyed immediately!
There is just too much ungodlyness in this league to go around, so I’ll take it by team:
Arizona Cardinals. The Arizona Cardinals are ungodly to the core. Did you know that their mascot, the cardinal, was named after the Roman Catholic Cardinal? The Arizona Cardinals, much like the New Orleans Saints, glorify that whore of Babylon, the Roman Catholic Church. Not only that, but they have heathenistic drug addict Tyrann Matthieu on their roster. They even signed Osama bin Laden supporter andd Muslim sympathizer Rashard Mendenhall! Shame on you Arizona.
Atlanta Falcons. The Atlanta Falcons brought ungodly dogfighting master Michael Vick into the NFL, and allowed him to launch a gambling and dogfighting ring while on their team. However, the Falcons are not as bad as some teams!
Baltimore Ravens. The Baltimore Ravens are an affront to God and Jesus! God hates them! Not only do their fans engage in a heathenistic ritual of massaging Johnny Unitas’ “golden toe” before home games (just like the Jews with the Golden Calf!), but they support murderers! The Baltimore Ravens kept murderer Ray Lewis on their roster. However, they threw Ray Rice off of their team for hitting his wife. Well guess what boys and girls, that’s ungodly. While we do not condone domestic violence, what happens between a man and a woman should stay between a man and a woman and God. The Bible says that women should obey their husbands. Ray Rice’s wife even supports him. Shame on you Baltimore! Shame on you! Repent or burn in Hell Baltimore.
Buffalo Bills. OJ Simpson is headed straight to hell. Other than OJ Simpson, nobody cares about this team, not even Satan.
Carolina Panthers. The panthers really aren’t that bad, but they do have criminal mastermind Cam Newton on their team. God hates Cam Newton for stealing computers, and you should too.
Chicago Bears. The Chicago Bears are one of Satan’s favorite teams. Not only did they film the Superbowl Shuffle in 1985, selling their souls to the devil in return for winning the Superbowl that year, but they also had ungodly and evil womanizer Walter Payton on their team, as well as horrible people such as Dick Butkiss and murderer Mike Ditka. This team is truly Satanic.
Cincinnati Bengals. God abhors the Cincinnati Bengals. There is no bigger collection of criminals, druggies, and alcoholics in the NFL. Not only that, but the Bengals owner, Mike Brown, cares more about money than he cares about God. Everybody knows that Mike Brown is one of the cheapest people in the world, and by holding onto his money, he is sealing his fate in Hell. After all, the only way for things to be loosed to us in heaven is if we loose them in this life. Repent or burn Mike Brown.
Cleveland Browns. The Cleveland Browns are one of the many playgrounds of Satan in this league! The Browns have a history of evil. First, they were founded by father of Mike Brown Paul Brown, who is burning in hell as we speak. Second, they have Johnny Manziel, an evil, evil person and a bad, bad man that Satan loves. They also have drug addict Josh Gordon on their team.
Dallas Cowboys. The Dallas Cowboys are the seat of the whore of Babylon in the NFL. Team owner Jerry Jones is a notorious sex and wealth addict. All cheerleaders are ungodly tools of Satan, but the Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders are especially Satanic. God hates them and you should too! The Cowboys also signed homosexual servant of Satan Michael Sam!! God hates Michael Sam!
Denver Broncos. The Denver Broncos were once God’s favorite football team, drafting God’s favorite player Tim Tebow. However, they later released Tebow, replacing him with Satanic servant Peyton Manning. The Denver Broncos are now a cursed abomination that the Lord hates.
Detroit Lions. Defensive tackle Ndamakung Suh is an ungodly servant of Islam and acts like a gorilla on the field. The Lions play in Detroit and many players are tied to the drug and gang scene in the city. God hates this team.
Green Bay Packers. The Green Bay Packers are an extremely ungodly team. Brett Favre was an early homosexual icon in the NFL, having a closeted relationship with Analyst John Madden. Aaron Rodgers has been seen with many bikini models and other whores. The name “Packers” refers to a homosexual act of intercourse. I will not go into details on this act. Needless to say it is ungodly and sinful. God hates the Packers, and you should too.
Houston Texans. This team is young and has not yet upset the Lord our God.
Indianapolis Colts. The Colts horseshoe logo is ungodly and supports gambling. They also drafted servant of Satan Peyton Manning.
Jacksonville Jaguars. The Jaguars refused to sign God’s quarterback, Tim Tebow. For that alone, they are cursed. Repent Jacksonville, fix your evil ways, and sign Tim Tebow!
Kansas City Chiefs. The Kansas City Chiefs signed the ungodly Joe Montana instead of letting him fall into retirement. The Chiefs also signed Satan’s favorite runningback Jamaal Charles. God hates Charles so much that he used Miami’s mascot to end his season!
Miami Dolphins. In 1972, the Miami Dolphins sold their souls to Satan in return for an undefeated season. Now God hates them with a fiery passion.
New England Patriots. The Patriots coach, Bill Belecheck, is on extremely friendly terms with Satan and may be possessed by a demon. Belecheck also cut God’s favorite quarterback Tim Tebow, and the team is cursed for that in itself! Tight end Rob Gronkowski is a party boy and Aaron Hernandez is a murderer. Repent New England! Repent!
The NFL. The NFL is thoroughly ungodly in all ways. First, they mock the sanctity of the Sabbath by playing games for profit on Sunday! Second, they support homosexuality but punish men for embracing their roles as head of the household. They have spent much time making rules to improve player safety, but in reality the only thing players need to be safe is Jesus. Turn to Jesus, and Jesus will protect you! God hates the NFL in all possible ways.
New Orleans Saints. The New Orleans Saints are affiliated with Catholicism and are cursed for that alone. Not only that, the violent bounty scandal funded by coach Sean Payton spread violence instead of love. God hates the Saints!
New York Giants. Peyton’s brother Eli Manning plays for the Giants. God hates Eli Manning too.
New York Jets. The New York Jets released God’s quarterback Tim Tebow and signed Satan’s servant Michael Vick! That is enough reason for god to hate this franchise!
Oakland Raiders. The Oakland Raiders support gang violence and drug dealers. God hates them thusly.
Philadelphia Eagles. The Eagles signed Michael Vick right out of jail, bringing him back into the NFL. That is ungodly! Repent Philly, repent!
Pittsburgh Steelers. The Pittsburgh Steelers are a very terrible organization. Their quarterback, Ben Wafflesburger, is a well-known rapist. Their former kicker, Jeff Reed, was often seen at parties with many women. Their mascot, Steely McBeam, is an obviously homosexual figure. Their players are dirty, and their fans are slutty. God hates this team with a fiery passion, and the Steelers and their fans are all heading straight to Hell.
San Diego Chargers. Chargers linebacker Manti Teo created an imaginary girlfriend in college.At least that’s what the media wants us to think. In actuality, he summoned a succubus and had sexual relations with it on a nightly basis. All who are close to Manti will go to hell, the San Diego Chargers included.
San Francisco 49ers. Joe Montana sold his soul to Satan in return for success at the NFL level. He found it, and cursed this franchise in the process.
Seattle Seahawks. God loves the Seattle Seahawks. Russell Wilson is a good Christian and Pete Carroll is a good man. This is why God allowed them to vanquish Satan’s servant Peyton Manning in the Superbowl.
St. Louis Rams. The Rams signed ungodly homosexual heathen Michael Sam! They brought this openly gay homosexual heathen into the NFL, and they will be punished by God for it. God allowed their quarterback Sam Bradford to be injured as punishment for this roster move.
Tennessee Titans. God hates this team for their supporter of adulterer Steve McNair. Adultery is an affront to God.
Washington Redskins. The Redskins are working for Satan! Not only do they glorify the ungodly savage, but they also reject the true nature of this nation! The NFL is right, the team name should be changed…but not to something that glorifies the heathen savage. Instead, they should change the name to the the Washington Christians or the Washington savages!
The NFL is an abomination to Jesus. God hates the NFL, and we should all boycott it! It is time to take back our Sundays for Jesus! It is time to take back our TVs for Christ!
I’m Jim Solouki, and I’m a True Christian!