Let us declare war on Anonymous!

Onward Christian Soldiers! Let us destroy the ungodly organization known as Anonymous!

Greetings True Christians!

Tonight I want to warn you about Satan’s right hand on the internet, the atheistic, heathenistic terrorist group that calls themselves “Anonymous.” The ungodly scum wander around in the nether-reaches of the internet “trolling” the internet and committing rampant acts of stupidity and sinfulness. They are responsible for making the ungodly song “Chocolate Rain” famous. They are also responsible for internet bullying, the Arab Spring movement, cybercrimes, and the Occupy Wallstreet movement. These heathens are going straight to Hell. Satan is going to enjoy each and every member of Anonymous in the fires of hell for eternity, until the end of time! Keep your children and families away from this ungodly movement! How can we spot a member Anonymous?

The first sign of one’s membership in the Anonymous movement is the image of the faceless antichrist. Note how the individual is presented as a faceless leader. This faceless leader is shown to have world domination, as suggested by the globe behind the leader. This illustration is likely influenced by both the illuminati and Satan himself. See below for image:

A sign of the antichrist

The second sign is pseudomilitary, tribalistic imagery such as the image below. Note the Satanic mask in the image. This mask is a common theme in Anonymous get-togethers, where members participate in many ungodly and evil activities. Images such as this are a sign of the antichrist. “We are Legion” is a reference to the millions of demons which Christ has control over. Once, Jesus asked a demon possessing a man what his name was. The demon responded, “legion.” This is not to suggest that legion is the name of a single demon, but rather that multiple demons possessed him. This phrasing is proof that Anonymous is guided by demons and other Satanic forces. If you find anything like this on your child’s computer, have him or her exorcised immediately! Image below:

demons rule Anonymous

The third sign is a rampant disregard for morality and Christian truths. As the following image declares, members of Anonymous “do what [they] want because [they] can.” This is truly unChristian and ungodly, and such attitudes lead straight to hell. Is your son or daughter going to hell? He or she is if they embrace slogans like this one:

Are members of Anonymous working to further the evil, ungodly Third World Order of the Antichrist? I believe that they might be. Notice that you never see the face of an Anonymous member. They are always hiding behind their masks. Note how the “leader” of Anonymous has never come to light publicly. It is likely because this man (or woman) is afraid of the True Christian forces in society. The agents of Satan and the Antichrist must always hide in the darkness and the shadows. The agents of Christ are not afraid, but follow the command of Jesus to be a light for the world. Who would you rather be? A faceless servant of the Devil or a follower of Jesus the Christ? The choice is yours. Accept Jesus or burn in Hell.

This heathen is headed to Hell

He is the only way to Heaven

My brothers and sisters in Christ, join us in a war on Anonymous. Help us wipe this ungodly organization from the face of the internet and from the face of the world. Let us write our congressmen and congresswomen to pass laws against these sinful hackers. Let us lead our children and friends away from them. Join us in mounting a concerted war against Anonymous. Help us shut those heathens down. Don’t do it for us. Do it for Jesus. These heathens are the servants of Satan, and we need to silence them! It’s time to take back the web for Jesus! It’s time to take back the internet for Christ!

I’m Jim Solouki, and I’m a True Christian.

11 thoughts on “Let us declare war on Anonymous!

  1. grum fan says:

    This is a parody site, right?

  2. anonymous says:

    We Are Legion We Do Not Forget We Do Not Forgive We Are A Voice Of Many Our Goal World Domination And Transparency! We Do Not Worship Gods Demons or Slavory

  3. vanonymous says:

    Idk why you “people” use the internet, jesus didn’t have the internet. jesus never existed. threatening people with hell is by far the most sincere form of flattery simply because it’s a free domain just like Earth. “I’d rather serve god in heaven”. Good, you’ll be a slave in your afterlife just as you’re a slave here on Earth. Don’t bring a light on yourselves, you’ll regret it.

  4. Franco says:

    Hahaha Anonymous don’t have time to deal/fight with little scrubs like you, they have more important things to do.

  5. joey frango says:

    I swear mon, i’m gonna fucking kill the idiot who made that montage with the aperture science logo, m8.
    But seriously this article is an unfunny joke. Im gonna call the internet police for your zuera.

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