Halo: The game for sinners!

Dear Christians,

halo-spartan-assault

I’m warning you about a game called Halo that is a slap on the face to True Christians and a favorite for heathens. Like all the other rubbish from the secular media, this is definitely an unholy abomination. Just like the Zelda games, the Halo series was made to offend Christians and to help transform our god loving kids into God hating heathens. The games were made from the Japanese Empire that has failed to take over America during WW2, but has succeeded in distributing the Zelda games, Pokemon (which are the tools of the devil in preaching evolution), cartoon pornography, and other satanic trash to our children. They are succeeding in this battle just as Isoroku Yamamoto envisioned during World War 2, and they even encourage the children to play these games in Sunday school. Please read on so you can learn how the Devil likes to deceive people just like he tried to tempt Jesus into sin.

The games take place in a fictional world where there is a conflict between humanity and aliens. You are in space, and you play as an astronaut named Master Chief with the task of saving the world. Sounds fun, right? Don’t let Satan try to make you savor this filth from the pits of Hell. You are better off reading The Bible instead playing this sinful filth.

The story is about aliens declaring a barbaric, religious crusade on humans. The aliens form a group called “The Covenant”, which is stolen from the biblical covenant for Christianity. But even worse is the fact that the aliens are used to portray Christians! Why didn’t the gamers rightfully base them off the barbaric muslims that want to attack America?

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It only gets worse.

Look how some of the aliens represent the sinful Catholic Church by looking like papists!

Is this alien based off Pope Benedict?

The Covenant are lead by higher ranking aliens called “Prophets”, and they are depicted in clothing that resembles the clothing from the sinful and perverted child-raping Catholic Church. Compare the alien above with Pope Benedict below:

Vatican Pope Vespers

The games also train the players to target Christians. Look at how the games allow the player to target the “aliens” aka Christians.

670px-Use-Halo-Weapon-Tactics-Step-2

Do you also notice how the release of these games has coincided with the rise in school shootings? That’s right, you heathen gamers! Ever since the games were released, massacres such as the Columbine and Aurora shootings followed, and you sinful gamers, who demanded for these games, made this happen just like the other godless heathens who wanted to take America away from Jesus and made 9/11 happen!

ELITE_COMBAT_FORM_IN_HALO_3_by_victortky

What’s this? It also looks like the makers are promoting evolution in the games, and we know evolution is just a fairy tale like Santa Clause.

The games are also used to promote homosexuality. Look how perverted the followers of the Halo cult can be.

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There also ungodly cut-scenes that allow the player to watch and perform homosexual acts performed in the game.

GayHalos

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Now what did God say about homosexuality?

18:22 Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination. (Leviticus 18:22 KJV)[1]

Gay marriages would probably have not happened if these abomination games were never released.

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And look at this. The game also has a female character that represents the true Whore of Babylon. This is some really some disturbing and kinky pornographic content the creators put in the games! I bet they were inspired by the scene in Star Wars of a half-naked Leia that perverted George Lucas made possible.

This is what Halo should actually be about:

halojesus

All the Halo games have been released during the Christmas season, and it’s worth noting that there is always a war being declared against Christmas every year. Since this game is about mocking Christianity, it’s no wonder that the makers have been releasing these games to reinforce the War on Christmas. We have the Anti-Christian Lawyers Union, the atheists, the Demon-crats, the pagans, gays, secular jews, abortionists, and other sinners that are attacking our Christian rights by forcing us to say “Happy Holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas.” It’s also come to my attention that there is another Halo game being released this Christmas, so we need to join in prayer to fight Satan from tempting our children into sin.

BillOReillyWaronXmas

Everything from the media is full of Anti-Christian themes, and Satan has his eyes over America as I am writing this article. This game is the kind of rubbish that has caused people to believe in evolution, Christian kids being bullied in school, teenage sexuality, homosexuality, disobeying parents, lust, children bringing pornography into the churches, lies, envy over one another’s belongings, and other SINS. Please remember that we need to keep Christ in CHRISTmas, and that Halo has no place in the Kingdom of Heaven. Write to your congressmen about banning the sale of these games, and don’t forget to display your Nativity Scene on your lawn before Obama’s tyranny makes them illegal. It is time that all Christians unit so that we can cut down and BURN the tree of evil that is producing these fruits of sin. Remember that America is one Nation under God and to vote for Rick Santorum, who is a True Christian, to save this nation in 2016.

Please join me in prayer. Dear Heavenly Father, it is this time again that we are under attack for following your word. Satan is once again taking the form of the serpent, and he is making our kids and the rest of the public consume these bad fruits that have lead to disobedience among parents, sinfulness, teenage sexuality, heathenism, rock ‘n roll, rebellion, and other sins. Satan is also behind the War on Christmas, and this is a time we will be challenged into temptation. Please protect us from Satan’s work, and help us to become better soldiers by the blood of Christ. Bless those who follow in you name and forgive us of our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. In your name, Amen.

P.S.

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Merry Christmas Button
Your friend in Christ,
Martin Baker

20 thoughts on “Halo: The game for sinners!

  1. OneWingAngel says:

    You Sir, are an ineffable moron.
    How about you try rewriting this ‘blog post’ and including one single shred of fact…
    From one Christian to another… “Sod off, and do your spouting offline, where at least your blatant disregard for sense will affect less of your fellow humans.”
    By the way, out of curiosity, is there a single video game in existence that isn’t a tool of the devil, in your mind? I’d be interested to know.
    Cheers, mate.

    • Dear reader,

      perhaps you should check out the Left Behind video game series, a True Christian series based on the writing of Tim LaHaye. Those aren’t tools of the devil, but of Jesus.

      Yours in Christ,

      Jim Solouki

  2. Martin Baker says:

    Watch what you say on this site for it is legitimate as Jesus. I’m trying to warn about the dangers of how Satan infiltrates the media and brainwashes people like you to be sinners. It’s not too late to accept Jesus and live everlasting salvation!

  3. I'm a Christian and a Gamer says:

    what in the name of Christ is this
    is this suppose to be the site that worships God
    this is a very satirical blog
    I will pray for you, heathens

    P.S. I’m a priest, so I don’t care if you call me heathen

    • A priest?! A Catholic Papist priest? You’re the biggest heathen of the lot! You actually worship the pope, a guy with a phallic-shaped hat and a gigantic crucifix of gold that says we should help the poor while living in a mansion built from the profits of indulgence sales. Lol you’re first in line for the cattle car to Hell friend.

      I’ll be praying for you.

      • Franco says:

        Jim, go back to the kitchen!!!!

      • Franco, go back to Hell where you came from.

      • I'm a Christian and a Gamer says:

        Yeah, I’m the guy who donates half of my business profits to the people of Tacloban
        I’m the guy who went from house to house and preached the words of christ

        So yeah, I don’t care what you say, for it is not the word of God

      • Pro - gaming atheist says:

        this priest is rocking the word of God, you should have a seat in MLG father

        even though I am an atheist I respect you

        from now on, I would like to call you Father Awesome Gamer

      • mister sandman says:

        I would rather rot in hell with cool gamer dudes like Pewdiepie and Markiplier than spend eternity in Heaven with the most boring dudes on the planet. By the way, evolution is fact and proved by all studies of science. How can you trust a book written thousands of years ago by men who knew less about the world than a modern-day fifth grader?

  4. Franco says:

    Hahahahaha, You say I come from the hell??? hahahahaha don’t be ridiculous, go back to the kitchen and make me a sandwich now!!!!!

  5. Thank you brother Baker! Doing God’s work son!

    Faggot.

  6. fowler90 says:

    Jim, don’t be a moron all your life, have a day off. I see little point in arguing against you as what every sensible minded person says to you goes in through one ear and out the other. The Halo Universe is deep and varied and one of the best fictional series to date. Also, God doesn’t exist, he told me so himself, and who am I to argue with God?

  7. Master Chief says:

    Please tell me this is satire… Either way this sh*t’s hilarious

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