On Star Wars and Satan

Greetings True Christians!

Today we will talk about the evils of Star Wars, the Satanic film series directed by George Lucas. We are not fans of Star Wars, and we have covered Star Wars before on this site. But with the new movies coming out, it’s time to talk about them again.

I’ll outline the Star Wars story here. A long time ago in the 1980s in a sinful place far, far away called California, the heathen Mormon George Lucas created Star Wars, and he saw that it was heathen in form. Throughout the Star Wars saga, Lucas carries out his own personal vendetta against traditional Christianity, and his films are meant to lead young minds away from Jesus. What’s wrong with Star Wars? EVERYTHING! It’s time to tell you all why.

Problem one. Homosexuality. The Star Wars universe is rife with homosexuality. During the original three films from the 1980s, in fact, the main protagonists of the film, RD-B2 and C3D0, “droids”, constitute a homosexual couple. The way they bicker and argue yet always stay together throughout the films shows us that there are homosexual tendencies between these robots. This is clearly sinful stuff. Lucas promotes homosexuality with these “droids,” yes. But even worse, these droids seem to have minds of their own! You cannot create a mind, no matter how good your programming skills. The only person that can create a mind is God, and we know that He is Good. Homosexuality in Star Wars is rampant, and even inspires homosexuality among fans of the series. Images below:

Problem two. Incest. Luke Skytalker and Leia Origami, the son and daughter of Anakin Skytalker and Queen Amigdala, are engaged in an incestuous relationship in the first Star Wars film. They even kiss each other on the mouth! Later in the series they find out that they are siblings, so they didn’t know they were siblings when they kissed, but still! This is sinful, sinful writing on the part of Lucas and the crew. In fact, there is apparently a nearly R-rated love scene between Luke and Leia on the unrated dvd version of A New Hope. I haven’t seen it, so I can’t confirm or deny its existence.

Problem three. Mormonism! The films are rife with Mormon ideology! The films show separate creations on separate planets. The Mormon Church preaches that when good Mormons die, they get to create their own planets, much like the planets in Star Wars. This is clearly a reference to Mormonism, and it is sinful.

Problem four. Buddhism and witch craft. Ever see The Empire Strikes Back? Ever see Yoda’s hut? Yoda’s hut is clearly a witch’s hut. It fits all the general characteristics, and it is clear that Yoda represents a glorification of witchcraft in this film. Know the best way to get rid of a witch? Burn it! They burned witches in the 1600s, and we don’t burn them anymore. Why? Because burning witches in the 1600s solved the problem! They’re all gone now. Well almost all gone. The ones that aren’t are hiding from the power of Christ.

As far as Buddhism, the Jedi way of life and the force are clearly Buddhist references. The Jedi worship a mystical power field called the force, that “runs through us all”. They espouse a set of beliefs very similar to Buddhism. There are good and evil followers of the force, much like Buddhism. Unlike Christianity, followers of the force see no problem embracing the Dark Side. The Jedi run around looking like Japanese samurai doing magic Asian Jackie Chan martial arts sequences and playing with light sabers. They dress in kimono-esque robes. Do you know what Buddhists are, boys and girls? Buddhists are heathens! And Lucas makes these heathens the heroes and villains the heroes of his films. This is sinful, and represents a glorification of the heathen way of life. Even worse, people are now putting “Jedi Knight” as their religious faith on censuses! Clearly Lucas is leading people away from God and working for Satan.

Speaking of religion, let us not forget Catholicism! Who is the Evil Empire in Star Wars? The Catholic Church. We told you about this in our previous post on Star Wars, but it bears repeating. First, the last pope of the Catholic Church looks EXACTLY like the Emperor in charge of the Empire. Second, the Empire’s royal guards are dressed almost like Catholic Cardinals. Third, both are deeply steeped in ceremony and dogma. Accidental? I think not. Is Lucas trying to use the imagery of the Catholic Church to imply that ALL Christians are evil? This is a definite possibility. Another key moment in the film dealing with Catholicism is when Dr. Scotty, also referenced in the Rocky Horror Satan Show, is beamed into the Death Star by Mr. Spock, ostensibly destroying the “Church”. The Empire survives, and in the third film, a new Death Star is built. This is apparently a reference to the Great Schism in Catholic history.

Here’s another key problem. Evolution! In “Episode One”, Lucas embraces a Richard Dawkins Selfish Gene Game Theory scenario when Wattle and Qui Gon Gin play dice to decide whether Qui Gon gets to own Anakin or his mother (I will refrain from discussing slavery in the film because the Bible actually seems to endorse slavery, thus, this is not wholly problematic). The video games spun off of Star Wars also use this evolutionist game theory. After all, they’re games. The films also show what appear to be separately “evolved” ecosystems throughout the galaxy. This is sinful. It embraces Darwinism. It rejects the Christian notion of One Creation. It rejects Biblical Truth. Shame on you, George Lucas! Shame on you!

much like George Lucas, this man wants your soul

Another problem? Skin, skin, skin. Episode two shows the nearly exposed buttocks of an alien woman. It also shows the exposed midrift of Natalie Portman, along with a shirt which barely covers her breasts. Things get even worse in the original series. Not only does Jabber the Hutt keep Princess Leia in chains in a metal slave bikini, but the other Twilek dancing slaves in the movie are nearly naked. This is very sinful. As Christians, we must ask ourselves how many innocent teenaged boys have been led into sinful masturbation as a result of these films, and even worse, into sinful masturbation over non-human alien creatures! And let us not forget the “Sarlac”, which is clearly a reference to the female vagina! Not only that, it has s tentacle coming out of it, which bears a striking resemblance, I am told, to Japanese “tentacle” pornography. This is horrible.

What happens to the people tied to these films? They’re most likely going straight to hell. William Shatner is headed straight to hell for trying to be in the new movies. That rocket man is headed straight into the sea of fire. If he thinks space is “cold as hell”, he’ll soon find out what hell really feels like, about 1 second after his death. Samuel L. Jackson? Going to hell. Not only for Star Wars, but all the other movies he’s made too. Sir Alec Guiness? Hell. Harrison Ford, headed straight for the center of hell with his kinky Indiana Jones whip and his Hand Solo space rifle. Hope they’re all ready for a one way ticket straight into Satan’s barbecue!

Do you want to ride on the highway to hell with Lucas and his heathen spawn, or do you want to climb the stairway to heaven? Well if you want a one way ticket to Paradise, you must reject the heathen notions expressed in these films. Lucas is working for the devil, and is trying to lead YOU away from Christ. How do we get to heaven? We must be Born Again. We must accept Biblical Truth. Star Wars rejects Biblical Truth, and as True Christians, we must reject Star Wars. Let us take a stand against Star Wars. Let us protest outside every theater that shows the new films. Two thousand years ago, somebody died on a Cross for you and I. Don’t you think it’s time someone took a stand for Him? Join us in the fight against Star Wars. Join us, Christian soldiers, in the war on Star Wars. Let us take a stand against Lucas. Let us take back our theaters for Christ.

From your friends,

Jim Solouki and Martin Baker

P.S. Let us pray for our men and women in uniform in the Middle East fighting the sand people and camel jockeys who reject Jesus and embrace Islam. There is ONE great scene in the Star Wars saga, and that is the scene where Anakin kills all the sand people. We must do the same thing, and wipe out the Islamic scourge on this planet. After all, they brought down the World Trade Center, and we must now destroy all of them. ~Jim

real life terrorists, or star wars costumes? Either way, they must die.

14 thoughts on “On Star Wars and Satan

  1. Blaise says:

    So now the Jesus myth has joined the ranks of Star Wars and Star Trek? Your entire rant reeked of fanboy drivel. Pardon my ad hominem. I really hope this was satire, otherwise I may have just lost mpre faith in humanity.

    • now now sinner. wer’re as legit as Jesus, and you’re headed straight to hell.

      • Jar jar from hell says:

        Hey buddy God forgives everyone and it says so in bibble. And wtf man sw is fake. God is real. We sw fans are not evil as u say we are. Unlike u I am a real Christian. You are the sinner. If I am evil then may God kill me right now. If u do not get another response then I dead.

      • God does not kill merely to prove a point. He is still giving you a chance to repent and not be burned in Hell. I will be praying for you to see the light.


      • mystichuntress says:

        Thank goodness I don’t believe in hell or heaven then 🙂

  2. Martin Baker says:

    Let’s not forget that the composer John Williams had connections with the anti-semitic composer Richard Wagner. His music in the movies capture the ideas that inspired Adolf Hitler’s atheism.

  3. Martin Baker says:

    I think voting for a righteous leader like Rick Santorum for president will prevent these movies from being made.

  4. Jar jar from hell says:

    Hey the force in sw is a super power not some religion btw

  5. Jedi KNight says:

    I’ll outline the Star Wars story here. A long time ago in the 1980s*
    in a sinful place far, far away called California, ..() 1977()
    Anakin Skytalker and Queen Amigdala** ()Anakin Skywalker Queen Amadala()
    Jabber the Hutt*() Jabba the hutt
    P.S. Let us pray for our men and women in uniform in the Middle East fighting the sand people and camel jockeys who reject Jesus and embrace Islam. There is ONE great scene in the Star Wars saga, and that is the scene where Anakin kills all the sand people. We must do the same thing, and wipe out the Islamic scourge on this planet. After all, they brought down the World Trade Center, and we must now destroy all of them. ~Jim
    you call your self a true Christian and promote this Hate,not all of those people from the middle east are crazy,they are few, unlike people right here who preach intolerance, one of the commandments say to love your neighbor, it doesnt say love they guy down the street cause he thinks just like you, it means we are all different and learn to accept people for there differences,don`t have to like there choices but it is not for you to judge..judge not least ye be judged..oh and slavery is ok since its in the bible?? there is so much referance to homosexuality in there, also rape, and of killing children is that all ok too now.

    and Islam has been around longer than our christianity..

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