Boys, resist the urge!

Christian boys,

I know it is hard to resist the urge when you develop thoughts about your little wiener becoming erect. Whenever this happens, you must NOT give in to the devil, for spilling your seed, unless it involves special relationships with a married female, is WRONG and immoral! If you feel the urge to touch yourself inappropriately, try putting your hands on the Bible and remember that you must not give into sin. You will feel happier and more confident once you learn to overcome temptation. And while your at it, avoid looking at Maxim magazines or other pornographic magazines that are full of sinful images. These magazines come from the devil, so don’t let Satan destroy you relationship with Jesus. Say NO to masturbation.
Martin Baker

4 thoughts on “Boys, resist the urge!

  1. weerd0 says:

    Masturbating with one hand on the bible is difficult, but doable. However seeing the book and all of the violent crimes it contains usually turns me off…. Objective achieved?

  2. weerd0 says:

    Also, this is sexist. Men cannot masturbate but Women can? I call foul!

  3. Yaqubjalal1234 says:

    Pervert child molester scumbag

  4. Karsten Steinmeyer says:

    I can’t hold my phone, put my hand on a bible and fap all at the same time. Sometimes I wish I was one of those hinduistic gods with multiple hands. #atheismftw #gtfotheinternet

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