What is hell?

Dear Heathens,

Some of you may be thinking Hell is a party.  In fact, some of you bandy about your sinful nature in a way which suggests that you think that Hell is a place where Megan Fox is going to be running around jumping on your sinful, lustful penises in a sinful adulterous orgy of passion, exist, and hedonistic pleasure.  Heathens, this is not what awaits you in hell:

 

 

No fornication with this sinful whore of Babylon for you. No orgasms for you. No pleasure of any sort. The Bible tells us that hell is a painful, painful, painful place, filled with darkness and fire and gnashing of teeth. In fact, did you know that God let one sinner visit hell and that man has now repented? Here is his Christian testimony, with the true Christian Pat Robertson.

 

 

Hell is a bad place to be. Don’t let the sinful band AC/DC, who is going to have a very special, painful place in Satan’s barbecue, lead you to believe otherwise. Hell does not look like this:

 

Hell looks like this:

 

She is not going to be in the pit with you:

You will instead be stuck there with these heathens:

 

Dawkins will be there, Sagan will be there, Dennett will be there, Feynman will be there, Hillary Clinton will be there, Judas will be there, Nixon will be there.  Do you really want to spend eternity with sinners like Charles Darwin and Mother Theresa (who was a Catholic and therefore not a true Christian)? Or would you rather spend your afterlife in Paradise surrounded by the likes of Jesus, God, Billy Graham, George W. Bush, and Joel Olsteen?  Dear True Christians, you will not see these sinners in heaven:

 

These are not angels, but angels of Satan.  Their orgiastic, skimpy, slutty lingerie does not lead to good Christian thoughts. It instead leads to thoughts of masturbation, fornication, and rape. These whores need to put some clothes on and get back to the kitchen where Christ would want them to be! Want to see what heaven really looks like? Here it is:

 

This is what heaven looks like True Christian friends.  Won’t you join me there? Let us reject hell. Let us reject sin. Let us reject masturbation. Let us reject the ways of the sinful modern Western world. Let us take back America for Jesus. Let us take back the world for Christ.

From your friends at Creation Science Study.

12 thoughts on “What is hell?

  1. Martin Baker says:

    Amen, Brother Jim! I wish the atheists would accept Christ like Hitchens did. Sadly there are many heathens that think of Hell as some smutty world.

    • It is a sad, sad day when these heathens go straight to hell because they fail to open their eyes like our dear friend in Christ, Christopher Hitchens. Duane Gish was sadly right when he said that Stephen Jay Gould became a Creationist about 5 seconds after her died. He never knew Jesus, and now he burns.

      We will pray for them brother Martin, even if they are destined to be damned. We will pray for them to change their sinful heathen ways.

  2. So, the Christian Hell is just a burning pit of fire where you get burned regardless of the severity of your sins?
    Seriously, that’s really unfair. The Chinese Hell has 18 floors with specific punishments for certain crimes, burning, getting cut by a sharp weapon, etc.

    You’re still alive? I thought you were petrified by Ghatanothoa.

  3. weerd0 says:

    Oh, your back. OK let me read your post….
    OK. HELL My favorite subject. If i am going to hell i would rather be with the atheists than the believers, at least i will have intelligent conversation while i scream. But no seriously, watch this.

    Heaven = Hell
    That’s all i got to say, and welcome back to the Internets! Prepare to die!

  4. Sum Gai says:

    Hmmm burning with the greatest minds pf humanity vs eternity with the dumbes people of history… It’s actually a hard choice.

  5. Reason says:

    Holy crap he’s back! Oh we missed you so much Jim. So much.

    Okay now what do we have h- Oh… oh my… You’re still trying to push this argument? I said it before and I’ll say it again, I’d rather go to hell with these incredible men, than be in heaven with complacent fools.

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