repent or rot in Hell. The only way to heaven is to be Born Again. Accept Christ as your Savior. Accept every word of the Bible, the Word of God, as true. Allow God to lead every aspect of your life. Then you will go to heaven.
If you engage in sodomy, hedonism, heathenism, masturbation, adultery, sex outside of marriage, sexual fantasies, paganism, wiccanism, heresy, blasphemy, bearing false witness, stealing, murdering, wearing pants in Church (if you are a woman), Catholicism, Islam, Mormonism, unpure thoughts, lesbianism, dishonoring your parents, swearing, cursing, using Ouiji boards, gambling, excessive drinking, partaking of drugs, celebration of Festivus, anal sex, oral sex, hand-jobs, Darwinism, Newtonism, Satanism, volunteering or working at Darwinist museums, massages, the wearing of unchaste clothing, capitalism in an excessive fashion, posting on 4chan or reddit, facebooking, myspacing,Tebowing, planking, coveting your neighbor’s possessions, coveting your neighbor’s wife, worship of false gods, idolatry, taking the Lord’s name in vain, doing anything other than worship on Sundays, or other sinful activities, you are not following Christ, and are therefore destined for hell. Please repent immediately. I would hate to see you cast into the fiery pit for all eternity.
Dear heathens, I will pray for your unclean souls.
Yours in Christ,