The Satan Factor: A Creationist Theory of Gravity

By Dr. Bulshiite Dumas, PhD, Mechanical Engineering

Abstract: The Darwinists like to tell us that evolution is a proven fact, as evident as the theory of gravity.  This article will suggest that they are indeed correct.  In fact, there is more evidence in favor of evolutionary theory than there is in favor of gravity, and both theories, are just that: theories.  They are unprovable, non-disprovable hypotheses that are no better than a Biblical explanation for the phenomena that they cover.  This article will present a true explanation of why we experience phenomena attributed to that materialistic theory of gravity.  While the Newtonists tell us that gravity is a scientifically tenable theory, they have no evidence for this conclusion.  Their conclusions lack Biblical truth, and are therefore necessarily false.  The true explanation for gravity is as follows: it is an effect of the weight of sin on the shoulders of mankind, and is exacted by Satan pulling down on the surface of the Earth, towards Hell (in the center of the Earth).Only at Christ’s return will this weight be overcome.



The Newtonists have controlled the physics world for the last 400 years.  They tell us that there is this thing called gravity which apparently keeps us from falling off of the surface of the Earth.  This is just another step in a long history of science that has provided us with such aberrations as a flat Earth and evolutionary theory, none of which are empirically provable.  WhenNewtondeveloped the theory of gravity, he stated no mechanism for explaining why it worked.  He invented an equation out of thin air, and then claimed that it was proven to describe the effects of gravity.  Yet he could not explain why the equation worked, and nobody else has been able to either.  While Einstein claimed to be able to explain gravity by claiming that space is “curved” (Hartle 2003), that’s just stupid.  Seriously.  Does the universe look curved to you?  The answer is a definitive NO.  When you set a piece of paper on a table, it lies flat; the paper does not curve.  And yet something holds it down onto the table.

However, the Einsteinists continue to assure us that the space is curved.  And how do we know this?  Only through the words of the Einsteinists and Newtonists.  Besides, the Second Law of Thermodynamics forbids the existence of a curved universe; space requires some level of information content to hold a curved position, and entropy forbids that information can survive in nature for long periods of time.  Thus, curved space as an explanation for the phenomena often called “gravity” is as wrong as evolution is as an explanation for the diversity of life around us.  Besides, it is perfectly obvious to any observer that understands the Bible that God, not Darwin, is the source of all diversity in the world around us.

The Moral Problem of Gravity

The acceptance of a materialistic theory of gravity also poses many problems for modern society.  In America today, a much secularized nation, teenagers are having abortions daily after having intercourse with their cousins and friends, and teachers are molesting students, who go on to murder their innocent classmates.  In the face of such troubles, we must ask ourselves why. Americais one of the most materialistic nations in the entire world.  WhenAmericawas a truly Christian nation, and trusted the Bible as her source for explaining the world around her, we did not have these problems.  Indeed, it is only after American school textbooks became laced with Darwinism and Newtonism and Einsteinism that these things began to happen.  In order to rectify these issues in our society, we must return to the Bible for guidance, and no longer trust the scientific community.  After all, the scientific community constantly attacks religion, and people of faith.  We need to move away from the guidance of these atheists, and return to the Bible to explain the world around us.

But does a Biblical theory of gravity make sense?

In shortest form, the answer is a resounding YES.  Sin is the weight that allows Satan to pull us downward towards the center of the Earth that is Hell.  But how do we know that the center of the Earth is Hell?  The answer is actually quite simple.  The Bible informs us that Hell is extremely hot, and filled with fire (see, for examples, Mt 5:22-29, Mt 23:15, 2Pe 2:4,  Mt 12:45, etc.).  The last passage is especially relevant to us.  Matthew describes Hell as a “lake of fire”.  Anybody familiar with volcanology or geology can tell you that within the Earth lies a giant lake of molten rock, a lake of fire essentially.  The Bible also refers to the pit of Hell on many occasions (“brought down into Hades[1]”  Lk 16:23, Hell as “pits of darkness”  Mt 11:23, “you will descend into Hades” Mt 16:18, etc). Therefore, it is safe to assume that Hell itself lies within Earth.  Thus, gravity can be seen as pulling us towards Hell.

However, the devout reader will most likely ask the following question: “But why would God allow Satan this level of control over Earth?”  This is an extremely easy question to answer, actually.  Mankind chose this path, through Adam and Eve’s transgressions.  They allowed sin to enter the world, and gave Satan agency over the Earth.  However, as promised in Revelation, Christ will one day return to free the holy from Satan’s grasp.  Now it can be understood from the Bible why gravity has no effect on Christ.  Christ is without sin, and therefore does not bear the weight of sin.  As a result, Satan has no power over Him.  Therefore, gravity itself may now be referred to as the “weight of sin”.

Christ’s sinless nature is evident throughout the Bible.  His sinless nature is enough for Him to overcome the weight of sin.  For Christ ascended (moved upwards) into Heaven, as explained in Acts 1:1-11.  Jesus was also able to overcome the weight of sin by walking on water (Jn 6:16-21).  Thus, we see that an individual not suffering under the weight of sin is essentially weightless, and can overcome the illusion of gravity.  It should be noted that the kingdom of heaven is obviously far above Earth, as noted in Acts 2:5.  The verse reads “Now there were staying in Jerusalem God-fearing Jews from every nation under heaven”, and definitively proves that Heaven is located above the surface of Earth, and outside the grasp of Satan.  Only when Christ returns, however, will humanity be able to overcome the weight of sin and ascend into heaven.


As we have seen, the materialistic atheistic dogma of gravity completely ignores the role of sin in creating the phenomenon of gravity.  While Newton could not provide a mechanism for explaining gravity, and Einstein wrongly proposed that “well maybe space is curved” as an explanation, a true understanding of the Bible proves that gravity is actually the weight of sin, pulling us down towards hell and away from God’s kingdom.  When Christ returns, those holy individuals who have overcome Satan’s temptations will be taken up into Heaven.  However, those that are sinners will be cast into the fiery pit of Hell, as they will be far too heavy with sin to be physically capable of ascending into Heaven.  We must no longer trust our fates to the godless physicists, but must realize that humans are responsible for the origin of “gravity” through Eve’s transgression, and work to overcome our sins.  Without doing this, we will never achieve redemption.

Works Cited:

Hartle, JB. 2004 Class. Quantum Grav. 21 2219-2220

The Bible

[1] Hades, as anyone familiar with Scripture knows, is a synonym for the term “Hell”.

70 thoughts on “The Satan Factor: A Creationist Theory of Gravity

  1. Carlos Mendes says:

    mwahaha loved it

  2. Carlos Mendes says:


  3. John bon Jovi says:

    Atheists : suppose you see a sand castle on the beach with no one around there,then who created it ?
    who created the sand castle if nobody is around – wind,waves , and sand randomly interacting with one another ?

    so you have to accept the fact that everything needs a creator

    another CHECKMATE

  4. Nicolas says:

    This has to be a satire site right. We can prove the earth is round, if you go into space you will see it. Also drop a rock and it will fall on the ground, that proves gravity. You are just stupid.

  5. John bon Jovi says:

    Nicolas, I think the “evolutionary” thinking made you a little bit dumb – sorry for that word. Your brain is lazier, because you are accepting anything as an answer.

    God bless ya and enlight your way

  6. Perin says:


    EINSTEIN HIMSELF SAID “As I have said so many times, God doesn’t play dice with the world”


  7. lawl says:


    would rage again

  8. Hackers on steroids have seen your article; beware! The hackers of /sci/ know where you are, repent from your wicked, Christian ways.

  9. Lawl says:

    Wait, what about the other stars and planets having gravity?

  10. aaron says:

    this has to be a joke

  11. Connor says:

    I’d like to point out that Newton was a devout christian who strongly believed in God.

  12. Mr. D. says:

    You clearly misunderstand the scientific meaning of ‘theory’. When something in science is finally called a theory, it is describing the idea that best explains the evidence presented after extensive testing and ruthless examination. It is not a word we throw around. To be a theory means days, weeks even, worth of work has been put into it along with millions of dollars, so simply saying that it is “just a theory” is to expose yourself as ignorant and disrespective of the thousands of hours put into devising this explanation of the observable universe.

  13. Gauss says:

    If Einsteins so smart why is he dead?

    Atheists 0
    Christians 1

  14. You can't be serious says:

    To put it plainly: you’re full of shit. Go throw a tennis ball off of a roof and tell me it floats. Tennis balls are inanimate objects that don’t have the ability to sin, right? So explain to me how it falls using your theory. I’d love to hear what you might have to say.

    • Dear friend,

      the tennis ball is a human creation, and is therefore tainted by sin. In fact, sin and death entered the world through Eve’s transgression. the weight of sin is what keeps everything on Earth falling towards Earth. Even objects in orbit are operating in freefall, bound by the weight of sin. it is really quite simple if you understand the theology dear friend.

      • You can't be serious says:

        Since when is sin able to be transferred to inanimate objects? By that same logic heated gases would not rise nor would light particles (photons) from say, a flashlight, be able to travel out away from the enter of the earth. We manipulate those things, which means we interact with them, which would mean that we “taint it with sin”. If sin weighs things down towards the center of our earth, then how can they go the complete opposite way?

      • Dear friend,

        Things can only A) be temporarily removed from Earth’s orbit, B) be removed by human agency from the atmosphere but still be bound by gravity, i.e. the weight of sin, or C) leave Earth in divine fashion, as Jesus did. It is really quite simple if you think and pray about it.

      • Hawkeye says:

        So surely those who sin most, weight most. Then why is it a sado-masichistic anorexic dictator would find himself weighing in at, say, 6 stone, whereas a very chubby man who has devoted his life to penance could weigh in at 20 stone. Weight = gravity’s effect on mass (in layman’s terms), so you’re saying weight is the effect of sin on mass. a sinless man, even bearing the sins of adam and eve, would weigh less than a man with less mass, bearing the sins of his own deeds and Adam and Eve’s transgressions. Or at least they’d weigh similarly. Think about it… think about it…. There you go. Checkmate Zealots.
        Btw, I’m Christian too, but I’ve no time for BS.

      • Dear friend, I respect your Christianity and know that you will be saved. We disagree here. it is a possible suggestion for an explanation of gravity that rejects atheistic science, rather than an attempt to force Christ to conform to our assumptions.

  15. You can't be serious says:

    A) Things can actually be removed from earth’s “orbit” ( i think you meant gravitational field, correct me if I’m wrong) permanently because mars doesn’t revolve around us and last time i checked we did send a rover there to survey the landscape which according to you would be tainted with our sin which would in turn taint mars.
    B) Light can be influenced by subjecting its direction away from our center. But if light is still bound by the “weight of sin” then how come it will not come back? that is to say, why do those same photons that were emitted from that particular light source not come back like any particle could?
    C) That cannot be argued empirically….ಠ_ಠ

  16. Hawkeye says:

    Unless you’re theory works out as: w=T+(s x m) where w=Weight, T=the Transgression of Adam and Eve (a constant), s=Sins committed by the individual (which would be represented as a negative number since sins are in no way positive) and m= mass. Using this equation, while working in tandem with your theory, it would also account for why people with greater masses are still heavier than those with lower masses regardless of how much either has sinned… Well, I’m converted.

  17. GOD says:

    Are you people aware that even devote catholic scientists disagree with your position on gravity. Georges Lemaître was a Belgian catholic priest who was a catholic cosmologist in the early 20th century. He wrote his thesis on “The gravitational field in a fluid sphere of uniform invariant density according to the theory of relativity.” He was also the person who developed the theory of the Big Bang. I am sure this man as a Catholic Priest had much more devout faith than you. When you refuse to accept 400 years of scientific evidence, then there is nothing more I can say. Also, that comment on Newton as being a Christian is indeed true, but no one brings up the fact that Newton was also an Alchemist. Is alchemy true, NO. A belief doesn’t make something true. Newton spent YEARS indulging in his belief he could turn metals into gold. The mere fact that you are writing on the computer is direct evidence of your FAITH in science. Go back to the stone age people.

  18. sapphiremind says:

    I believe in God. That being said, THIS IS PURE NONSENSE.
    Radicalism is ,once again,giving Christianity a black eye.

  19. Satan's lil Helper says:

    Smited with GRAVITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  20. Wellplayed says:

    At first I thought that this was a joke, specially when I saw the guy’s name. Then I thought “Looks like this dude is for real, that’s crazy” and that’s when it hit me : Poe account. Well played my friend, well played.
    For those that don’t know Poe’s law :

  21. Friggin Silly Christian says:

    You do realize that you have made yourself look like a fundamentalist Christian and even true Christians are laughing at you right now, right?
    This article has been posted and reposted on Christian pages and Atheist pages alike…. And the one single factor that remains the same is- THEY ARE ALL LAUGHING AT YOU.
    None of anything you wrote makes any sense. My 8 year old son has more brains than you, sir.
    My son can better explain gravity, evolution, and more about our planet correctly, than you, a grown man who should, by now, have SOME common sense.
    Oh well. I’m not worried about your lack of common sense, or your horrible, distorted views on the makeup of the universe- but what I am worried about is you spreading all this nonsense via the web…this promoting ignorance to other people who lack common sense…causing a vicious cycle of non-stop ignorance.
    You, sir, are what’s wrong with our world today. Stay away from children please. They are easily swayed by mythical stories and fantasies.


  22. Dr. Bulshiite? How stupid are you/do you think we are? That is clearly supposed to suggest a different word that means this “Doctor” is full of it.

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